mood swing.

i realised.

people is not what i seen from the beginning.

people always change.

i don't get it.

why wanna treat people differently?

u may not know about it.

but people experienced it will feel it.

just try to be normal be normal as possible.

trying to act so cool and bring yourselves up high.

what's the point?

ya, people hunger for popularity.

get it.

many friends.

some treat you good.

some just trying to be nice.

don't treat you sincerely

so what for gaining so many unessesary friend at the first place.

oh ya, popularity again.

can u just forget about the popularity and concentrate being a morale person?!

what's wrong with people?

PLUS

sometimes we don't get what we want.

but don't get it so emotional and trying to get angry over a small thing.

u don't get it means you don't get it.

no point of crying !

giving that stupid look is so annoying sometimes.

grow up people.

get a life.

when somebody just scolded you or talking about something else,

can't u just shut up and ignore her?

what's the point of fighting back her?

people getting bad mood, you not in the good mood.

making whole trip so stupid and sucks.

fight over small thing..

urgh, it's so stupid sometimes.

PLUS

sorry to korean big fans.

not specific to anyone.

just sometimes, what so special about korean guys?

i can't get it.

talking about them every single day. hours. minutes. seconds.

don't get bored of it.

sucks.

screwed.

something happened.

i'm freaking scared.

screwed.

screwed.

screwed.

screwed.

will get nag soon.

craps.

peace.

rush

the rush.

rush of doing something.

but at the end, u don't have the courage to do it.

but sometimes we have to learn to let go something.

and bring out the 'um' to go do for it.

but when i succeed in one thing that u tried most of the time,

the feeling is damn good.

i feel like i'm that useless after all.

but somehow, it will fade away.

so, it's time for practice.

practice makes perfect.

nothing is perfect.

the sentences sound weird.

it's so contradiction.

anyway it's not important at all.

what's important that U TRIED.

and you give your very best in doing something.

fail or not doesn't matter.

it's the rush of doing it.

the feeling you want to do so.

adrenaline.

like i said : the rush.

well, the way u look thing have to change.

some you have to complain.

some u don't have to complain.

it's just how the way u see things.

sometimes expressing things out is better.

but keeping something behind also better.

there's no good or bad.

there's only lies and truth.

truth is always the hardest part.

u've no choice.

saying or doing something out of your control.

makes u feel good sometimes.

but at the same time, it hurts.

this is the truth.

and this is the life.

craps.

peace.

peace.

after a long day being overseas.

well, i really need some peace and quiet.

sometimes i get over bored here.

and did nothing at all.

well, sometimes i get over bored

i done some homework.

but homework let me become even bored.

boredom man.

contradictions.

wanted to go school just to fill up my time.

but at the same time, wanna stay home do nothing.

hope there's something outside would give me something to do.

that don't go over bored.

peace can give me some thoughts.

peace can let me calm my mind down.

well, i really miss my home.

where i can do something i always do.

not get restricted.

but same time got back home.

i've to catch up every homework i missed.

and push myself to do homework.

homework.

homework.

homework.

homework.

everyday, everywhere, everytime.

don't even remind my of that.

well, i just wanna die after i heard that.

sigh.

shrugged, don't know what to do.

peace.

craps.

Thoughts.

there're sometimes that we thought of something.

something very unreal, artificial.

but u wish it will happen.

u just don't have the courage to do that all alone.

u just want it to be a dream.

your dream.

the only dream

but too bad, it's still a dream.

well, it's not that we can control about it.

not we can do.

not we can predict.

happy from the beginning.

but it always end with a sad ending.

we don't live in fairytales.

we live in a real world.

that a world not happily ever after.

somehow, we just need to let go.

let go of something u love the most.

something u like the most.

even something u live the most.

wish it would never happen at all.

being alone is always good.

but still living alone in a small world.

doesn't change anything.

have to move on.

stay hardcore.

it's just devastated.

sad.

well, there's always better life out there.

will find it and get use to it.

craps.

peace.

world outside.

in Australia.

people is great, polite and most of all nice.

enviroment is good, fresh and most of all green.

people here actually recycle their rubbish, not like Malaysia.

houses here are big, quiet at night.

it's very peaceful.

will get a peaceful mind.

yesterday, i went to Carlingford High School.

my cousin school.

they having this performance at school.

band performance.

i thought it would be a small band or something..

it don't end up what i thought of !

the hall is damn freaking big.

bigger than SMART.

and most of all.

teachers here is damn funny and good.

they interact with students.

not like SMART.

well, now i get why keeboon and catherine are so addicted to overseas countries.

u never been there, u will never know.

even my cousin studying a normal very normal school.

it can even beat SMART down like a ant.

the image above just a small part of the band ONLY.

well, malaysian should motivate and be more active in different sports, subjects.

and AUSTRALIAN don't go tuition class.

craps.

peace.

my dream never come true after all

i'm at australia.
people was great
nice place.
nice weather but damn freaking cold at night.
conclusion : nice.

but was having fun.
sad news.
desvastated.
i can't hold on my tears anymore.
it flows out.
i can't accept anything.
i really can't.
it's like happen in a sudden.

until now i still can't accept it partially.
i just need time.
after it happen, i just wish i would back kuantan like right now.
but can't.
parents won't allow me to do that.
i'm really devastated.
heart broken.

something will change
a very big change
it would be different without him.
i'm all alone.
but i've to face it.
it's the truth.
truth that will never change
will hold to it until i go for university.

my life will be different.
360 degree changes.
i wish i didn't appear.
or he didn't appear.
but still i want him to appear in my life.

i can't continue.
craps.
peace.

long time.

it has been a long time till now.

i'm going soon.

i just miss the one.

end of 2010 school year.

awaiting for 2011 school year.

during the holiday, lots of homework.

i just wanna skip everything and just enjoy my life for now.

i just cannot cope with busy life of form six.

but somehow i've to go through it.

3 more days.

my day in malaysia gonna end soon.

and start a new one and a half month life at australia.

i hope it will go on perfectly.

but somehow i've to bring chemistry and biology there.

damn !

holiday still need to study.

luggage overweight.

i've to start packing.

get everything ready for everything.

and get my plant ready.

sewing.

uhu.

have to get it done soon.

craps.

peace.

the end.

it's finally over.

exam is over.

even MUET is over.

finally, a good rest.

and my perfect holiday.

i hope it turn out perfect.

yiiks, my lips hurts.

i can't eat any spicy stuff nor cold stuff.

i hope it get better after the few days.

other thing is i got my marc jacob necklace (:

yayy love love love it.

it's like my birthday present.

(:

finally a very very cute necklace.

my birthday is coming soon.

well, won't be in kuantan for like month and a half.

i won't be missing kuantan this place.

but will be missing people and friends and family.

BUT somehow i would like to have fun at Australia.

it's summer baby!

tanned skin, shining sun, bikini bods, the crowded sea.

the shopping is what i concern the most.

(:

everything is about shopping.

shopping shopping shopping.

but still i've to learn VOLLEYBALL there.

damn but.. somehow it good to know one more sport.

exercise is useless right now.

well, i don't have a bikini bod.

well, i don't need one.

haven't start preparing.

before going, i've to go tuition for everyday.

do lots of thing.

leave some school works, papers, documents for my friend in case school needs it.

lots lots lots of thing.

it's a very busy week for me.

after this holiday, come back kuantan.

end of fun.

concentrate on studies.

try my best in exam.

yiiks, almost forget.

when school reopen, chemistry test awaiting.

biology - DATIN GENGA.

chemistry - LEE MENG SEE.

omg, the important science subject is getting more and more 'exciting'.

craps.

peace.

very random

a very random post.

firstly, school.

well, bored.

tomorrow having MUET exam.

didn't really revise.

somehow just pray hard.

i fetch dad out to the bank.

while on the way back

dad asked me something.

he asked : how's your result?

me : ok lurh.

he : how ok?

me : ok larh.

he : biology get how much?

me : B lurh.

he : B only?! i thought your biology good, no need to worry much.

me : form 5 and form 6 very different. form 6 very difficult.

he : so u know what u gonna do right?

me : i know.

he : later u come back from Australia stop playing and start to concentrate on your studies.

me : ok.

he : pengajian am lerh?

me : ok lurh. B

he : B only?

me : u go and exam larh.

he : speechless. physics lerh?

me : i didn't take physics!

he : then chemistry?

me : ok larh.

*i quickly change topic*

well, mom and dad are the same.

always ask about result.

nothing else.

gosh.

well, maybe they are right.

stop playing and concentrate.

suffer a year and will get a better future in d future.

that's the only thing i can do.

if not, really difficult to go into university.

i don't wanna just waste my 2 years doing nothing.

and ended up being nobody.

well, will try my best to cope up and try my very best.

(:

craps.

peace.

random.

today is a school day.

well school day.

as usual BORING.

we didn't our research whole day.

those students were tooo 'smart' to study in smart.

they even look at me for d answer.

well, it's very funny.

today i'd a conversation with my sister.

she said : jie, come here for awhile.. wanna ask u something.

*walked near*

she : come again near.

me : what u wanna ask me?

she : something lurh.

me : what is the something?

she : guys like to see porn ah?

me : *shocked* emm ask your dad.

she : don't want laaa. very paiseh.

me : u ask me i also very paiseh de lerh.

she : u woman marh.

me : lol sorry i'm not woman, i'm still a girl haven't 18 years old.

she : quickly tell me la.

me : ask guys laa i'm a boy can't answer u.

she : u ask your friends.

me : lol u want me to ask my friend whether guys see porn because my sister wanted to know?

she : ya lar.

me : see first arh.

she : don't see first.

me : why so desperate wanna know whether guys see porn lerh?

she : because curious lurh.

me : oh. ask mummy.

she : don't want.

me : ask teacher. teacher knows everything.

she : but teacher don't know porn.

me : know de. u go ask then she/he will tell u everything about porn.

she : siens la talk to u.

me : then don't talk. i wanna sleep.

she : always sleep sleep sleep. like pig.

me : me no need exam like u marh sure sleep la. nothing else i can do.

she : why your school like that de?

me : like what?

she : student no need study.

me : SMART marh, all d student smart no need study. smart in gaming enough.

*she annoyed*

lol.

lol.

peace.

craps.

think too much.

i hope that i think too much for once.

but it doesn't suit like that.

i'm just being over thinking most of the time.

i'm in a place where i don't belong too.

i'm at a situation where i'm being transparent.

when i'm at a place that where i don't belong too

i don't feel myself.

i never feel myself.

i don't feel myself everywhere.

only the one place i can feel myself is when i'm with the one.

but after that, i don't feel myself anymore.

i don't feel safe anywhere anytime.

it's like one day, i'll drown into a black hole.

and blow me away.

people don't get it.

but it's not their problem after all.

i don't blame anyone for this.

i just wanna be my ownself.

pretended and hiding the truth is not i really planned to do.

but somehow, somewhere i need to do it.

to cover my sadness inside.

u'll never know i cried behind my mask.

i just want a simple life.

normal family

normal friends.

normal school.

normal life.

normal thinking.

i used to be the kid that no one cared about

that's why i've to keep screaming till they hear me out.

i don't wanna end my life just like that.

i'm trying.

at least..

let me try it out.

i guess there's no second chance.

i know i can survive someday.

in this complicated world.

through this complication.

and burst it out

pass through the tunnel of hell.

my afterlife.

hold on tight.

i know i can.

don't drown.

live my life.

will try to forget everything

and stop thinking too much about something i don't really need to.

just ignore the world outside.

and be just who am i.

i am who i am.

take it or leave it.

craps.

peace.

bliss.

well, i'm bliss for past few days.

bliss = happy = excited = overwhelming = over the top = weeeee !

i don't know why i'm sooo happy.

just felt happy for no reason.

maybe i'm having a very good mood.

due to holiday.

happy

happy

happy

happy

happy

happy

happy

happy

bliss

bliss

bliss

bliss

bliss

bliss

bliss

bliss

bliss

bliss

gay

gay

gay

gay

gay

gay

gay

gay

gay

gay

gay

gay

gay

gay

urgh dad changed my number from maxis to celcom.

well, blackberry service for celcom is cheaper.

damn him.

but i've 2 numbers.

forget about it xDD

i'm still happy.

conclusion : i'm happy.

i'm mad.

so, ignore me.

craps.

peace.

YAY

YAY

today and tomorrow will the best day of my life !

(((((:

why parents wanna threaten their children to do something they don't like?

just let them be.

don't involved them in something they don't like.

or maybe something they don't get it.

and u get angry for nothing?

i don't know what to say to them

everyone can blame parents

but the only thing is children cannot blame parents.

it sucks.

craps

peace

路途

我的路途还有很远

我会慢慢地走

事情已经是历史了

我也不管那么多了

那些琐碎的事对我来说

不重要

妈妈说的对

这个世界有各种各样的人

你也改变不了

你觉得你说的对

就是对的

现在我期待我的假期

假期的来临

我真的很开心

大开眼界

(((:

Thanks people that helped me.

craps.

peace.

变化

这是我第1次写blog用华语

我觉得用华语才可以表达我想说的

变化

我是不是变了？

这个问题可能是我想太多

但是问题根本没有解决

仍然还存在

性格，动作，想法

都慢慢的改变

人是应该长大了

不是那小时候，幼稚的想法

做任何事都要想清清楚楚才可以下动作

我平时没什么意见

就人家说一就一，二就二

只是投诉多了

我也没什么参别人

就有时候谈个天而已

我自卑

但是我很清楚如何控制我的自卑感

我不想影响到别人

人有他的理想与梦想

我知道我追不上

就只好慢慢地跟在后面

人也有情绪的时候

难道你可以发脾气，我就不可以吗？

我很尽力地把以前的仇恨抛开了

慢慢地接受别人的不同

开始新的生活

我说话很直接

不会拐弯抹角

因为我把一件事收了很久才会有勇敢的说出口

我不想把一件事搞的很复杂

想简简单单地，明明白白地讲

我知道有时候我收不到别人在说什么

或者慢半拍

我也不想的

所以我也很少说话

大家都以为很多东西，我喜欢或不喜欢

大家都没有问

就当着我不喜欢

我很随和的，你要我帮你，我就帮你

我不介意

大家都是同学

难道要分开说话吗？

就当着我们都是朋友

有话就说，有天就谈

就回到以前那样就好，只是多了一个人

很难吗？

我不是说什么，但是大家都这样，我真的不懂要说什么了

我有前科

我知道那种感觉很难受

不管我说了什么

没有人会明白

解释了，等于没解释

道歉了

要说都说了

要讲都讲了

你要怎样就怎样

我是真的没有那样的说

我也没有帮谁说话

明白我的人就明白

不明白再解释我也没有话好说的

人有他的权力

我也没话好说

我不介意人家问我关于考试分数

我也不介意我很差

我只介意人家炫耀他的有多好

不顾别人的感受

我最多伤心了一下子，第二天我就忘记了

我的记忆很差

我很难说出口

我想说，但是还是不说好了

我...还是静静地...

收起来...

craps

peace

erruption.

school having this volleyball competition.

well, i went there just to sit.

and burned by the sun.

the finalists are FU and bear bear hong.

and bear bear hong won.

good job !

most of the time were sitting down chit chatting and hear ipod.

but when until the end, it 1pm in the afternoon, everyone is hot.

everyone wants to end the game as fast as possible.

so, just quietly watch it.

so they can concentrate..

but there is someone.

shout with SOPRANO's voice that annoyed me.

well, this is not the first time.

i burried my fire for quite some times.

she just talked too much.

so i scolded her.

so who cares?

i never like to scold people.

but that is just... annoyed.

but forget about it.

it's over.

and she deserves it.

((((((:

craps.

peace.

confusion.

firstly, it has been long time i haven't update my blog.

well, i'm having this confusion.

i think it's better to spill it out.

well, i just got my result.

actually at first i never ever mind about my result.

NEVER.

i know i didn't study.

i didn't revise.

didn't expect much hope on it.

but today there's a girl she said : i didn't study math in school also can get higher mark than others.

seriously, did u ever ever think about what others think?

firstly, people are at the top.

and i'm always at the bottom..

i don't mind being a bottom one.

but atleast don't step me like i'm worthless.

conclusion : worthless.

yesterday, when baoshian told me about her problem with sister..

i'm belong to her sister, not her.

i can get what her sisters were thinking.

i just can't give a proper advice to her because i'm just like them.

what to do?

just accept the truth.

i don't think i've any thing better than others.

i'm just worthless.

but that time, i stop being emotional and give her what the best she thinks.

i hope she got it.

people never knew.

never understand.

all i can do is pretended and fake smile every time face problems.

now i really think....

that i should give up my ambition.

it's meaningless.

i can't be thinking something it won't happen.

because i won't be happening.

i really really need to stop dreaming.

when people is at the top of the mountain, they'll never look back.

for me, look back is something i does all the time.

this shows i'm not at the top of the mountain.

craps.

peace.

jokes.

Today school was great.
Almost perfect.
With no math period.
But tomorrow will be hell day.

Today in school.
During biology class, we were chatting.
Crapping to be more specific.
Jia wang, chee yik, see yong, baoshian and me.
while jeanne, swee yang and zhen ye were just listeners.

Firstly, teacher were talking about being a doctor is bad.
Need to serve d gouvernment for 4 years with a low-paid salary.
Talked about dentist.
Of course dentist is good : )
My future job.
hehehe.

Then baoshian suggested that I open a dentist clinic and she'll open a artificial tooth clinic.
She sells tooth and I help to pull tooth.
She said I should pull more patient's tooth and when the patient needs an articifial one.
I'll recommand the patient to the clinic beside my clinic that opened by miss chen.
This is what we called in biology : mutualism-helping each other.
Like this, we can also have tea time together.
So, beside our clinics, somebody should open a kopitiam.
Again, after finish high tea, we can shop together.
Beside the kopitiam, should open boutique shop or something.
This is what a brilliant idea.
lol.

Jia wang said : now u all start to save money. When grow older, u have sufficient money to buy the whole building.
By this, u all can fullfil your dream.
lol.
again another brilliant idea.
There should have tons of great shops that we can do in one building.
What a joke!
Crapping.
ahahahahaha.

Well, I guess that's all for now.

Craps.
Peace.

nocturne.

Piano.
Violin.
Guitar.
Drum.
I learn too many musical instrument.
had to stop few.

now,
stopped for guitar and drum.
and now still wondering should i continue my piano.
i passed my grade 8.
and mom kept on nagging about did i done my decision.
well, i miss piano.
and i realised i haven't touch the piano for months after the exam finished.
wanted to play
but always forget or i ignore it for example doing other things.
online.
watch dramas.
movie.
hang out with friends.
tuition homework.

holiday for so long.
i haven't even touch it.
i feel bad for the piano.
and i miss it very much.
i don't know whether should i continue my piano.
i'm form 6.
if i continue now, i need to wait next year to take my exam.
and next year having very IMPORTANT exam - STPM.
stress after writing it. zzzz

STPM is important.
piano also important.
mom asked me whether i'm interested into music industry.
but i don't know.
hard to make my decision.
i wanted to learn.
but i need to think about the expenses of my family.
well, dad having financial problem.
mom wanted to save for my university.
what should i do now?

i asked around for opinion.
my violin teacher said that taking diploma is good but if u're not into music industry, it's wasted.
since i already finish it and u know most of the pieces.
it's no point to learn.
but...
i wanted to learn.
well, for the certificate of course.
certificate is very important though.
i just wanna go for higher level.
i don't know whether i can manage it.
it's not easy.

IF....
I can't go for medical industry but at least i've my piano certificate to help me continue a better future.
and of course if i made it, music industry won't be my choice anymore.
i just need a second option.
hmm.....
what should i do?
although i can make most of my own decision well, but if related to my future.
i just don't know.
well, i can't ask my parents.
they sure will ask me back.
it's your future and u asking us blah blah blah.
parents !

well i thought of business before.
BUT...
dad said business it's not a easy job too.
not everyone can be successful as Donald Trump.
what he has is chance. money. talent.
not everyone can be a successful business woman/man.
you need to work triple hard to climb to the top.
earn big bucks.
living big house.
driving big car.
having a whole building with your name on it.
big fortune.
BUT at the same time, going into business..
u need to sacrifice time to concentrate on your job.
i don't born with a silver spoon in my mouth.
so do my dad.
i just don't know.

last but not least.
though of working with my dad.
duhhh...
but it's just a very last option.
i don't wanna rely on my dad for every single penny.
most of the example of working with their own parents is miserable/disaster.
i don't wanna end up to b just like them.

dad want us to be in a professional industry for example doctor, engineers etc.
well, i thought of it though.
and i decided to be a dentist.
lawyer : headache. laws. remember. speaking skill *sorry i don't speak well*
engineers : urgh physics. will faint any sooner.
doctor : well, it's better. well i like biology. i just the only industry i can 'invest'.
just somehow i don't know what i wanna be or who i wanna be.

i told my mom before that i wanted to just marry a rich guy and stay at home and sleep till 12pm.
my mom told me that i'm crazy and dream too much.
AHAHAHAHA
living in a big house with maid.
i don't need to wake up to wash the clothes.
wash the plates.
make my meal.
wash the car.
mop the floor.
nahh...
it's just a dream.
everyone need to do that somehow one day in the future.
trying to be independent and less rely on somebody else.
: )
i guess now i just need to follow the flow.
let thing go on their own and lead me to somewhere.

craps.
peace.

grateful.

FIRSTLY :

CHEN BAO SHIAN

the singer.
the ka-ka-cau-cau.
the colourful light bulb.
the sek zou.
the c=c bond watak utama xDDD

well, what i can say about her?
a very good friend that work very hard.
study of course very good.
singing... emmmm, no comment BUT i think not bad also.
dancing... never see her dance before. but i guess will force her to dance one day.
sports, bowling pro than me already.
badminton need some more practise, but now already very good : )
her wording is BIG.
HUGE.
GIGANTIC.
and she likes to eat chicken and hoiyin.
she has a nickname : ' bread queen '
everyday eat bread.
but no different already.
she has different kind of food to eat in school besides for bread.

she is thin, white, tall and small eyes with a big brain in her big head xDDD
it prove she's a smart student from SMART.
she loves to laugh and of course emotional when comes to certain days.
u know i know xD

she is my friend since standard 3.
well i don't really know her when i'm standard 3 cos i don't really socialise.
or u can say i'm anti-social.
slowly we studied in the same class until standard 6.
of course.
she's top 10 student in our class. * good for her *
and most of the teacher likes her.
and she 'loves' to create some rumours for me.
well, i really need to thank her for that.
it makes me remember until now.

SECONDARY :
we went to the same school.
SMK tengku afzan.
she's a afzan biggest fans.
she actually loves AFZAN =_=
sorry i can't agree with u that.
i hate afzan. >< sorry !
but i won't stop u by loving it now : )
same class until form 5.
whoa..
that's a long long journey.
i remembered we only get closer when standard 3 i guess if i'm not wrong
i'm having serious alzheimer.
we gossiped in the class.
we laughed.
talked.
even shared our food in the class.
she's a very patriotic person.
every year coming to independence's day, she will waved her flag the strongest.
and sang the loudest.
and of course CLAPPED the loudest hahaha xDDD
form 5,
we have this malay teacher.
i forgotten her name.
but i remembered her nickname, speaker xDD
whenever she asked question, she is the only person who answered her.
of course the teacher remembered her.
she will called : bao shian... bao shian...
ahahaha and most of all she did speaker's homework !
she's a very good student with a good attitude and never skipped school before.
* thumbs up for her *
highly recommanded by every teacher in SMK tengku afzan.
: )
she slept very LATE AT NIGHT most of the time.
and i don't know how she does that.
i can't stand after 2am.
she's a WONDERWOMAN?
sorry for the wrong words.

she has good relationship with every people including teachers.
that's is her.
do whatever she thinks is right.
but when she does wrong, she'll start to blame herself and feel guilty about it.
she can't make her decision.
even in choosing bread.
but she can be a good leader.
and she speaks out her mind.
dare to speak.
dare to conduct.

FORM 6 :
well now we're in form 6 already.
i'm happy that she actually stayed.
we taking biology.
: )
and most of the time she helped me a lot.
in studies of course.
and i helped her in sports. xD
well maybe others too.
help her make her decision.
and she SKIPPED SCHOOL !
that's is epic !
d^.^b
and she loves to be a 'promoter'.
thanks for it !
she still has everyone recommandation.
good for her.

that's all.
perfect kind of person.

craps.
peace.

F.R.I.E.N.D.S.

now is holiday.
i just wanna get some rest.
well from morning having this tuition.
biology tuition class.

well i don't know how to explain my feeling now.
oh yah.
i got it.
i'm anti-social person.
thanks to the dudes.
i don't even remember since when i'm anti-social.
yeah right !
i don't hang out much with A GANG.
who cares to have a gang?
what is gang for?
popularity?
just for fun?
i just don't understand.

people changed.
everything seems to change.
whatever.
i don't give a damn at all.
maybe i changed.
i don't know.

from the beginning, maybe i'm not good in social.
well, just can't find any friends that can cope and talk to me.
i don't simply find a friend.
like whoever close and crap with me.
people should grow up.
maybe somebody doesn't grow up as fast as others.
well, i found out that maybe just my friends are not my friends.
i don't know what am i talking about.
just.. i don't remember they act like that?
or maybe just i changed.

maybe my dad was right about choosing my friends.
i'm bad in choosing friends.
there's no true friends or BFF.
it's only happen in fairytales.
well i've a good friends.
people comes and goes.
it won't stay forever.

I realised that i've nothing to talk to my friends.
oh should i say i don't know how to crap at all?
friends?
do we need a friend?
was trying to be normal.
as normal as possible.
not to make any mistakes.
but it happened.

maybe other is better.
i'm just not that good in something.
new friends.
new schools.
new gossips?

case 1 :
there is somebody.
was trying to say hi to him.
and being ignored.
i don't care about it.
and when i said that he should said hi.
and he replied me by giving me this stupid annoyed face.
well, hater.

case 2 :
when i'm needed, the somebody will say hi or be nice to me.
well, i knew that.
she even talked something interesting with me.
well, that's great =_=
and now she doesn't needed my help.
not even greet me in the public.
like what the hell?
don't even think that you're pretty or so whatever u can act like u're damn freaking good.

case 3 :
boys boys boys
flirt flirt flirt
i just don't know what to say.
u know i know.
end of case 3.

case 4 :
whoa, your things are so pretty.
envy you etc.
=_=
no comment with that conversation.
i can say is i know i'm not as good as you.
but please pay some respect.
just trying to be nice to you.
don't reciprocate with a bad look and ignorance.

case 5 :
although you don't really like about girl stuff, u shouldn't like hate it.
yeah, you've your own view about things.
and having pedicure is not stupid and waste of money.
stop living in your own world.
respect others too.
yeah, i know you're following your so called culture.
oh yah, stop showing off.
this is malaysia.

case 6 :
when i wanna study i'll study.
i don't need any controlling.
i'm not small anymore.
i know what am i doing.
i know what should i do.
and i know how to call for help.
i just need some break.
so just give me a break !

that's all.

craps.
peace.

scared

these few days was having great time shopping.
well, not that great.
while shopping, faught with mom.
everything i got she'll scold and complained about it.
i'm sick with it.
i hate shopping with her.

just some family problem i've to solve.
dad scolding mom.
i feel bad.
really bad for my mom.
she looks old at a glance.
i miss my mom.
my dad really need to go for anger management.
he's sick in his mind.
and i don't like him.

well, miss my mom helped me wash my clothes.
feel bad for her.
last time, when she cooked for us,
we complained about the food not nice.
all the same everyday.
now suddenly she no need to cook.
just miss her cooking.
she always complained our room is messy
and we never even bother about it.
she always scolded us that we simply throw our books.
and we never even care about it.
she encouraged us to do this and that.
but we never hear what she said.

will try to help her in everything.
and most of all
will listen to her.
just miss her.
and she's tired.
she needed a help.
and i'll help her.

having this feeling : scare.
is frequently happen.
i just scare i'll lost everything in this world.
lost everything.
i wish this feeling never will come anymore.

craps.
peace.

holiday : )

Great.
2 weeks of holiday.
2 weeks I don't need to see tan jin ooi.
2 weeks I don't need to wake up at 630am.
But too bad I need to wake up at 830am.
Having tuition everyday !
Biology tuition.
That's the sad part : (

A lot of homework.
But who cares?
I don't wanna do xDD
I just wanna sleep and rest.
Tiring : (

These few days.
Nothing special happened.
Just went for schools - back home - tuition - back home.
Just went to movie last night.
Grown ups.
That movie is funny : )
ahahahaha.
Overall I can say is great : )

There's a people done something very funny.
If u saw this post, u know who I'm talking about xD
ahahaha.
xDD wahahahaha.

On my way to KL.
Shop till I drop !
Woooohooooooooo.
Just burn my time by writing my blog.

Peace.
Craps.

thursday.

good thursday.
school was normal.
today, there's a japanese guy : yusuke i guess.
lol !
well.
he looks.. speechless.
but it counts as normal.
but not handsome as everyone thought.

muet period.
that puan zaleha very fierce to the japanese guy.
she doesn't even put a smile on her face.
just looks pissed off when the japanese guy said good morning to him.
this is what we called malaysian. = _ =
rude !
we had our speaking today.
teacher ask us to sit in pairs.
well, that cheeyik ask me to sit with him =_= of course i didn't sit with him.
i sit with sweeyang.
not purposely wanna sit with him.
just somehow when i move my chair, i sit between sweeyang and zhenye.
too bad zhenye need to have his discussion with the japanese dude.
and it's 0 communication.
hahaha !
it's so funny when he kept on ask me what word he should use for his discussion.
and the japanese dude doesn't understand what zhenye was telling him.
xDDD
even worse.
the japanese dude doesn't even understand what zaleha was talking about.
after discussion, time to present.
well, we walked out and start to present.
blah blah blah.
and questioning time.

chen bao shian.
i'll remember her question a lot.
she asked me do u think cellphone made people lazy?
i said no.
and she asked : i got 2 friends. they were sitting opposite only also need to text.
this time i got what she's trying to say.
chen bao shian.
u 'rocks' !
and i've nothing to say except this is call 情趣.
too bad i don't know how to translate it into english.
end of our muet time.

when for math.
exam time.
well got the paper and quickly do question 2.
haha !
well i think the paper is normal.
not as tough as i thought.
do as fast as possible.
and finished.
went to the canteen to grab something to eat.
i'm sooo damn hungry.
and chemistry teacher never enter.
and finished my recess in the class.
the box of rice cost me RM 2.50 !
and baoshian haven't pay me or she paid me?
i guess she haven't paid me.
xDDD

biology.
no teacher.
they'll having great time with the yusuke by playing games.
and i don't feel like playing.
listening to my ipod and scribble scribble on a draft.
and somehow i fall asleep.
i feel that i'm a boring people.
kinda boring somehow.
serious most of the time.
today, siva and leela talked to me.
she said : olivia, hi !
me : hi, siva !
she : what r u doing?
me : scribbling something on a draft.
she : oh ! u looks serious even scribbling. even u eat, drink and do h/w also looks serious.
me : really? *laugh*
she : even u laugh also serious.
me : oh. *giggle*
lol, i look serious all the time.
never notice that.

pengajian am.
today, graph.
my favourite question.
i love doing graph.
i done my graph fast.
and passed up the book.
and i asked teacher.
me : cikgu, jangan pergi dulu ! wait ! tunggu !
teacher : nak buat pe?
me : boleh saya hantar graph dan karangan tak?
teacher : nak hantar skrang keh?
me : yes, nak hantar skrang.
teacher : bagi i.
me : terima kasih cikgu.
bao shian : why u wanna ask teacher whether can u pass up graph and karangan?
me : *laugh* ask permission marh xDDD

colloqium.
boring.
chat about enzyme and substrate.
lol ! biosensors.
inhibitors.
cofactors.
competitive and non-competitive inhibitors.
lol !
funny !
while waiting for teacher, we all gossip.
hahahaha.
never knew that after all.
people are hard to predict.

night.
working.
i love today.
because the girl that always kek sei me didn't come.
peaceful.
patience is nirvana xDD
it's good that she gives me some peace before holiday.
xD

that's all i guess.
peace.
craps.

relaxing.

Today.
Weather is damn hot.
We having games.

Today, petanque.
I didn't even played.
Just sat under a cool place and chit chat.
Until woodball's members came.
We exchanged games.
We played woodball.
They played petanque.
When near the end, some of them played football.
Teacher play monkey game.
hahaha. Without puan zaleha is different.

Today, dickson is damn funny.
When fang yuan played woodball, she didn't goal.
Dickson said : see me play larh. Like this also cannot goal.
When dickson hold on to the stick, and u know he is tall.
And when he swung d stick, he just like playing golf.
The stick touched the tree. Hahahaha !
damn funny !

Walked back to class.
The lock still locked.
Went to physics class to hang out.
Chat with chiew ee : )
I miss the time chat with her in d past.
Went to math class.
we discussed about dato'.
Discussed about graduation night things.

Later that, have our recess.
I love recess.
<3

Whole day is just relaxing.
Biology has no teacher.
Relaxing while listening to songs.
Reading my favourite book.
Until finished school.

I felt so great to go home.
I miss home.

Peace.
Craps.

differences.

Everything seems different in this month.
Everything seems to be changing.
I just don't know what cause the changing.
Well.
The worst part is we're not as close as last time.
All of us.
I guess that brought us apart.
But still I still have to go on with my life.
Differ anot, still I must go on.

There's happy things.
There's sad things.

The happy things is friends.
They jokes. They craps.
They estimating. They guessing.
lol !
For the most interesting part,
One day , see yong asked me.
If the world left 2 guys.
Che siong and jun shen.
Who would u choose?
And of course he asked both of us.
We answered the same answer.
He compared again.
If see yong and chee yik.
Who would I choose.
lol !
The answer is very obvious.
Chee yik got sad.
hahaha.
Sorry chee yik. ><
then again.
He asked if jia wang and che siong?
Bao and I reply the same answer.
Again.
If tien sern & che siong?
lol this answer is confidential.
again.
Kien joe and chee yik?
lol again.
This time I choose cheeyik.
And I said : I rather choose henry over kien joe!
For particular person knows why.
And I don't wanna explain here.
Just pissed me off. *grr*

On saturday morning.
Went for hiking at perlindung.
Was small rain.
We were waiting for our class 5 kings to meet us.
They were late.
They reached at 9am and we set the time at 830am.
When they reached.
We walked up d hill.
We were searching for insects.
Joann suddenly said : bao, there's a butterfly.
Bao quickly raised her net and start catching the butterfly.
Finally, we caught it.
But too bad we were too excited that we caught it and forget to put it in a container.
The butterfly flew away.
Too excited and end up dissapointed.
hahaha.
The hill is very slopy and get sweaty already.
Some people walked fast.
Some people walked slow.
Well I'm in d some people who walked slow.
We walked until I saw 2 big ants.
and we started to sit down in d middle of the road.
Started poking the ants and bees with needle.
sitting in d middle of the road.
That's the most funniest part.
We poked and talked like we're having picnic.
xD
But we'd a great fun.

Until a canopy.
The road diverged into 2.
Uphill or the beach.
We choosen the beach.

We had our rest and drank water.
And off we go.
The road is unbalance.
Lots of leaves.
Rocks.
Slopes.
Almost cause me to fall.

We walked for soo long.
Finally!
We reached.
We headed to hoiyin to eat curry mee.
My favourite shop ever !
hahaha!
I ordered a large one.
Whoa.
When I finished, it's just right.
While waiting for food, we gossiped.
Like we always do xD

What a tiring but fun day.
but still wish that we'd more time.

My friends.
Fang yuan, bihui & chui teng were soo 'cute'.
I have nothing to say about them.
Too 'cute'.
Speecheless.

On sunday.
My day is sleep.
Sleep almost whole day.
Great sleep.
: )

I made candle.
My candle smells good.
But bihui and fangyuan said it smell like toilet.
=_=

Today.
My day was great.
Perfectly fine.
Until the last period of math.
Tired plus boring.
After school, went to d bank to help my mom with her bank book.
2 banks in one time.
Tiring but took a nap.
More charged.

Night.
Work with kids.
They're damn cute.
There's a girl : jing xuan.
She's a clever girl.
But always never noticed by teacher.
She answers most of the question correctly.
But still nobody seems to praise her.
I noticed her a lot.
she deserves praises.
Again.
There's a girl : michelle.
She's a spoil child.
I can't believe that she's just 4 years old.
She went to tokyo disneyland !
She has a tokyo disneyland's bag.
What the hell.
So small but life is good.
Envy ><
but too bad she's not that clever xDD

Most of the student are talkative.
But jing xuan.
She's a quiet one.
And li anne.
She's a cute one.
Very cute.
2 of my favourite.
hahaha : )

Peace.
Craps.

impossible.

1st time wore st john uniform.
Damn !
It's tight.
And hot.
Morning was sucks.
There's a freak prefect followed baoshian and I to our class just to ask us to go back to d dewan.
Omg !
That damn lame talk thing was sucks.
I remembered I was sleeping.
That's all I remembered.
And when it's almost finished, I walked out again.
And the same prefect ask me to sit down.
Ignored her for 3 times.
And she got mad.
And I scolded her fuck off.
Damn her.
So annoying.

Now I realised tengku afzan's prefect is way better than SMART.
Discipline teacher is way better then SMART.
SMART is the worst school compare to afzan.
Suddenly I miss afzan so much.
I wanna go back to my old life.
I miss my old life.


Being scolded for few days.
I'm tired.
I'm really tired.
I done nothing wrong.
I just did what should I do.
I really hope everything dissapear in my life.
Cried it out loud.
Too bad.
Nothing can cure.

Again.
Biology.
Get scolded.
I'm tired.
Don't wanna talk about it anymore.

Craps.
Peace.

august 16.

yesterday was chiew ee's birthday !
she's officially 18 now.
celebrated for her at the mall.
whole bunch of friends.
had great fun.

just few parts i need to mention.
when somebody singing, please stop talking and at least listen to what people were singing.
not talking among u all.
and most of all !
louder than the microphone.
2nd :
never ever go in and out from the k box room.
it's annoying.
3rd :
never take all the microphone to yourself or never even hold a microphone.
when u're holding the microphone, please sing.
don't take it and sing damn freaking soft.
4th :
never call a whole bunch of people out for sing k.
especially more than 5 people.
5th:
the k box management should update more new songs.
especially english song.

i guess that's all.
: )

now i think mall is kinda boring.
it's always the same old thing.
the same scene.
the same shop.
even the same location.
wanted to find some interesting place to go in kuantan.
: /

last saturday, went for badminton.
almost 27 people went.
it's was a lot !
have no chance to play longer time.
just play like for half an hour if i'm not wrong.
but overall is good.

last friday, went for movie.
leehom's new movie.
love in disguise.
that movie is incredible.
love it <3

overall.
just great.
just somehow.
family problem.
i don't wanna talk about it.
just somehow felt kinda sad and dissapointed about it.
hope for the best.

peace.
craps.

30th of july and 31st of july.

on 30th of july.
just like normal day.
went to school.
he-he.

night.
went to movie.
inception.
no comment about the movie.
just kinda blur.
i guess i didn't bring my brain to the cinema xD
the cinema was freezing cold.
over all was great *thumbs up*

31st of July.
baskin robin's day !
woke up like 730am.
i can't sleep.
9am went for badminton.
badminton was tiring.
after badminton.
went to hoiyin for brunch.
after brunch, sent baoshian and fangyuan back home.
we chatted a lot.
he-he !

reached home almost 1pm or 130pm i guess.
sat at my dad new bought sofa.
YAY.
almost fell asleep while sitting.
and lastly decided to sleep.
ZzZzz.
i felt more charged after i woke up and decided to buy something to eat.
i bought for myself and my sister.
BUT !
went i brought home.
my sister don't wanna eat.
i'm damn pissed.
whenever i don't buy for her, she blame me for not buying for her.
and whenever i buy for her, she doesn't want it.
omg !
at that moment i felt like wanna kill her.
urgh, forget about it.
more for me.

6pm drove my mom to get her car from the shop.
so i decided to go to the mall and get baskin robin.
the city was packed with cars and people.
stucked in the traffic like an hour only managed to reach the mall.
and baskin robin fulled with people too.
siens = ="
waited like 30 minutes only my turn.
but it's still worth it <3
got back home at 710pm.
and started to eat my ice cream.
YUMMYY
satisfied.
i want it some more.
and thunder.
i guess it's going to rain soon.
love the rain : )

craps.
peace.

urghz.

I wanna kill my sister.
She's annoying !
Urgh !
I really really wanna kill her right now !
Pissed !
Pissed !

apologise.

Woke up late.
Late to school.
Urgh.
Get scolded by my mom.

Forget about it.
I'm sick with that.
Reached school.
I suddenly feel there's something blocking me.
Something weird.
I couldn't say it out.
I just don't feel like talking.

Piano teacher called like 5 times.
To confirm whether I still wanna continue piano class.
Urgh.
I don't know.
I couldn't make my mind.
I feel so tension.
Everyone was asking am I going to continue.
I wanted to continue.
But I wanted to stop at the same time.
Urgh!
I need somebody to tell me.
I wanted to tell somebody.
But it seems nobody understand.

2ndly, chemistry test.
I didn't even read it.
I guess I'm gonna fail.
When I got the paper, from the Q1 till Q40.
I just don't know how to do.
Don't even have clue.
Urgh!
Fail fail fail.
I'm just a failure.
I got like C in my MUET test.
Damn !
Forget about it.

I'm so sorry to fang yuan.
I was just so emotional.
That I scolded her about the inbox thing.
But I really really felt annoyed by the emails.
I don't want other to ask me anymore.
I explained like millions of time.
I'm sorry that I said something that hurted everyone that I care.
I guess it's just an emotional movement.

I'm sick with my sister.
Whenever I finished eating outside, she'll blame on me that I didn't buy for her.
Like wth !
I don't have enough money to like buy for you.
And she got angry.
I just so sick by being blamed for something I don't need to do at all.
I need to drive out again just to fetch her to get something to eat.
I just simply don't like it.
She even use my spoon cos she lazy to walk to the kitchen.
Why everything must be her?
I don't like to share.
I hate sharing.
I HATE SHARING.
I want everything to be mine not share with her.
Whenever I needed her help, she rejected me.
I hope that she's gone from my life forever.
She always like to borrow my things even my clothes without telling me.
Never ask me !
I hate when somebody took my thing without telling me.
My mom would say : you should share with your sister.
I don't like to share !
Say I'm selfish, because this is who I really is.

I..
Sigh !
It's stupid.

Craps.
Peace.

closing up.

Morning,
Woke up.
I don't feel right.
Instead got up from bed.
Drove to school.

I felt hot.
And the assembly was almost craps.
Finished.
I walked to call my dad.

Finally my dad reached.
And go back home with him.
Ate my medicine.
And slept till 2pm.

I think I'm really tired and exhausted.
A good sleep helps me a lot.
I guess that's my life.
But still I would like somebody to company me.
But I guess it's okay for me.
: )

Now I felt more better.

Craps.
Peace.

celebration.

Sunday.
No guitar.
But got tuition class.
I went for tuition I thought I won't find anyone there.
A-ha !
I saw siew ai.
: ))
Atleast my classmate was there.

Afternoon, went to terumtum.
Fetch jiayin.
And we reached there.
Jin ann, siew ai and chee yik were there.
We waited.
For kien joe, jiayi, joann and cheryl and tien sern.
We walked to the xanax.
Vip room was big but still not enought place to sit though.
Kah wai and jeanne reached.
We ate the cake.
The cake was great.
Cheese cake ! Yummy !

Chee yik gave condom to kien joe for like a prank.
Kien joe doesn't know that is a condom.
He saw like 5 min and finally he knows what is that.
FUNNY ! xDD
I went out earlier.
To have my lunch.
I was starving.
Went to pizza hut.
Tien sern, jiayin and jeanne were following us.
3 of us had spagetti.

Later,
Kien joe, kah wai, kar ann and chee yik came and find us.
Then they decided to play snooker.
Of course.
I never play snooker before.
I went it.
Whoa, smoky.
Kah wai booked like a table.
And kien joe, chee yik and he were enjoying.
Girls sitting to see them play.

Later, about 6pm.
I've to go.
So I drove chee yik and jiayin back home.
Chee yik said he only sui bian with the girl he likes.
He : I only sui bian with the girl I like. Won't sui bian with jiayin, baoshian or you.
Me : cheh, nobody wanna sui bian with you lar.
He : how I know? But still I wanna sui bian with the girl I like, the girl I like may not like sui bian with me.
Me : see u also don't wanna sui bian with you lur.
He is speechless xD.

I think that's all.

Today.
School day.
Went back earlier.
Love it : )))
I fetch bihui, fang yuan and jiayi back home.
We chatted a lot in the car : )

No tuition.
I guess that's my day.

Craps.
Peace.

perfect saturday.

I love saturday.
Especially this saturday.
July 24.
: )
But it's not enough.
: (

At night,
Went to sushi king for dinner.
Saw miss irene.
Ha-ha!
She was alone.

My parents and sister went out for a dinner.
And my mom got a plasma LCD television.
It's from a lucky draw.
How lucky this can be.

Sunday morning.
It was niceee.
Gonna have my breakfast with parents.
Then will go for tuition class later.

Craps.
Peace.

saturday.

Finally.
It's here.
Woke up at 715am.
Felt damn heavy.
Wish that I can skipped.
Too bad !
No.

Parents and sister were still sleeping sweet and sound with the aircorn on.
Comfortable bed.
Covered with blanket.
Lay on a fluffy pillow.
Eyes still closed.
While for me, need to get up from the bed.
Blushed my teeth.
Tied my hair.
Washed my face.
Iron my uniform.
Changed it.
And damn !
Prepared for school.

My mom sent me to school.
She needed my car.
When I got on the car, I saw my tayar is flat.
I told my mom.
She quickly changed car.
I scolded her that yesterday she drove my car to eat durian.
And cause my car full with durian smells.
My stering is sticked with durian smells.
Ugrh !
That's what I hated the most.
I hate somebody drove my car out and changed everything in my car.
Move my chair.
Change the side window.
Touch my things.
And starting to complain about my car.
Drive your own car next time if u wanna complain.
Ish !
I'm sick with that.
Besides that, I hate my dad drive my car out until it's out of petrol.
Most of all, he never pump it back full tank.
How stingy he can be.

I fetched fang yuan from home.
Drove to 7-11 to get my breakfast.
Starvation.
I got bread, rocky and wood's.
I think I got something stuck on my throat.
7-11 didn't sell any strepsils.
So I got wood's.
Wood's is bad.
I want strepsils.

Reached school.
Registered my name.
And waited for the dude to start crapping.
He's damn freakingly boring.
I almost fell asleep.
And I feel like eating chicken rice.
: ((
The weather is cloudy.
: (
Suitable for sleeping.
I wanna sleep.
Sleep.
Sleep.
ZzZzZz..

Craps.
Peace.

turtle.

Friday is a busy day.
Normal school day : )
Morning I'd my math test.
I guess I still can manage it.
It's not that tough.
Maybe I done wrongly I never noticed.

Along my way back to class.
Jiayi came to me and asked me whether I've bring cellphone to school.
The first thing comes to my mind was she needed emergency call or something.
I was wrong !
She told me that her cellphone caught by teachers.
I was shocked but at the same time relief because I didn't bring cellphone to school.
She was so worry about her cellphone.
And quite a number of people been caught.
She wanted to ask the teacher to give her back the cellphone.
Well, I don't know whether she succeed.
I hope she does.

Today is jin ann's b'day.
Siew ai bough a cake to school and celebrate for him.
Boys from 6BK2 and boys from 6BS1 and our class helped him to celebrate.
I hope he liked it.
The cake was great.
Chocolate my favourite : ))

School having activity to turtle sanctuary.
Before going, I thought that it was lame.
On the way to cherating, I'm tired so I slept.
I can even sleep in a bus with the ups and downs and noise from khisshen talking.
Sound pollution.
I slept until I reached there and bao needed to call me to wake up.
I've a good sleep.

People were busying taking picture with the signboard etc.
And we walked to the sandy beach.
Teachers to ask us to separate into groups.
We need to gotong royong.
We picked wheat grass.
Leaves.
Stems.
Roots.
And the most funniest part is zhen ye plucked the wrong roots.
actually that roots is a plant.
Embarassing xD
We were busy taking pictures.
Chatted.
Joking around.
We'd fun.

Finished at 5pm.
We walked to a hall.
To watch video about turtle.
Before start, we took picture crazily.
Standing on the chair.
Funny poses.
Fooling around.
We'd great fun !
Video was normal.
But the people talking was boring.
Crapper crapping.
We were laughing and talking behind while teacher and baoshian were concentrating.
Feel sorry for her.
We disturbed her.

Finally, when finished.
We walked to the beach to release the turtle.
The weather turns bad.
So we quickly took few picture of the turtle and released it into the sea.
The turtle is sooooo cuteeeee : )
It's damn active when I'm trying to hold it.
It seems wanna leave me.
: (
And I saw the turtle crawled to the sea.
And dissapear into the deep sea.
I wish it can survive until when it is adult.
after releasing, it started to rain.
Rain heavily.
We waited in the house for the rain to stop.
When the rain stopped, we walked back to the bus and prepared to leave the place.
Again.
I slept again.
It's cooling and dark.
Suitable place to sleep.

We reached school about 8pm.
I rushed back home to have my dinner.
I was starving.
Got back home.
I saw my dinner.
I finished it like in 3 min.
Shows that I'm hungry xD
Took my bath.
Relaxing at the sofa.
And my mom blowed my hair.
Her hands has durian smell !
Omg !
She made my hair smells like durian. Damn !
I really need to wash my hair.
xDD

Craps.
Peace.

storm.

i don't know how to describe today.
today is normal but happy at the same time.
i'm crapping.
ignore that.

morning just like a normal school day.
very normal.
today we selected our new sixth form thingy.
president : jasher chew.
vice president : seet cheng hou.
others i forgotten.
sat at the hall for 2 hours just to vote for them.
i mean these members.

went for lunch.
i ate mcD again.
i think it's not healthy to eat mcD almost everyday.
i need to change.
change to a better meal.
not MCD anymore.
and i went back home.
i slept for an hour.
and i woke up.
shocked !
saw my phone red light blinking.
i opened the text message.
SHOCKED !
it wrote : exam result is out .. please come and take your result slip ..
OMG.
i jumped from the coach and rushed to get my damn result.
i went inside.
i saw my teacher sitting there.
she asked me : if your fail, your mom will scold you?
me : no i think.
she : then if u passed, u wanna continue diploma?
me : i'm not sure.
* my heart is beating fast *
she : *giggle* i see i see. well u wait for me. let me check for your result. and sit here for awhile.
* my heart is beating even faster *
she : OLIVIA.
me : * rushed to her room *
she : check for your name.
[ Olivia Chu Huey Woon Grade 8 passed 102. ]
when i saw it, relief.
somehow it's kinda dissapointing.
i think i can do it better.
and saw my sight reading get only 8 i guess.
i was wondering what's wrong with my sight reading.
i think i did great in my sight reading.
problem is my scales is damn suck and she gave me a high mark = ="
and aural test fail for sure.
my pieces : not bad.
relief but dissapointing.
but .. somehow i passed my grade 8.
officially diploma student.
* proud *

tuition was great.
i understood.
and done my homework.
yay next week no tuition for monday.
take a rest.

craps.
peace.

back.

Long time never update.
Ok.
Start from saturday.
Early in the morning,
Went for a badminton game.
From 9am till 1045am.
I need to left early because I need to work.
I don't feel like playing.
I had headache.
Not feeling good.
I fetched jiayin back home.
And I rushed to work.
Students were doing good.
Practised their piano.
It's good.
Smoothly.
And I haven't ate any meal.
I finished at 230pm.
And I got back home and changed my clothes.
And rushed to eat something to eat.
I ate KFC : )) yummy !
And after that I rushed to tuition class.
Chemistry : )
I didn't feel tired.
Just kinda bored.
And I understood what the teacher was teaching.
Great start.
Finished at 530pm.
Exhausted.
Get some sleep.
And start to online.
And I guess that's the whole day.

On sunday.
I'm damn tired.
I skipped my guitar class.
I slept until 11 something.
And I woke up.
Um, watch movie.
Eat some junk food.
And sat at the coach.
Having the relaxing day.
And had my facial.
And had my dinner at sushi king!
I ate the most : ))
I love sushi.
I'm damn full after meal.
Conclusion : relaxing day.

Monday.
School day.
Another boring school day.
I'm damn freakingly tired.
I wanted to just find a bed and sleep.
But somehow I got to sleep after PA class.
And got back up for the next class.
Afternoon need to help my dad to post his letters and few other documents to be send somewhere.
Night : tuition : (
Tuition was confusing. And stressful. I almost gone crazy.
But I understand.
Just some few careless mistakes.
Sigh.

Tuesday.
School again.
Boring.
Muet exam.
And skip classes.
Chemistry and math.
Another relaxing day.

Craps.
Peace.

love today.

july 16

i will remember it.
: )

today school was great.
homeworks.
homeworks.
homeworks.
homeworks.
i really need a break.
others are not really important though.
hm.
tomorrow start to work.
tomorrow having badminton.
tomorrow having tuition class.
tomorrow is a busy day.

craps.
peace.

relief.

great.
piano exam is over.
finally over.
i'm damn freaking nervous before exam.
i'm sweating like mad.
i even wish for a sweat absorber handkerchief.
but.
useless.
the examiner is a woman.
very picky woman.
she gave me the stressed look.
very stressed.
and made me stressed tooo.

slip notes.
wrong bars.
wrong scales.
but overall was okay i guess.
wish i don't fail.

okay.
i practised from 830am til 11am.
whoa.
non stop man !
muscle cramp.
super cramp.
i hope it will gone after few days.
i need to play badminton.
and i need to work !

after piano exam.
got back home and changed.
and went to the mall.
watched movie.
ate sushi from sushi king.
yummy.
but full.
very full.
ate like mashed potato + hotdogs + sushi set.
my stomach almost bursted.
but somehow i'm relief.
finally i'm done with piano.
no more practising.
no more extra class.
most of all no more aural class.
no more singing.
ga-ga-ga-ga.

oh ya!
i changed my blackberry's 'shirt'.
hot red xD
i love it.
that's all i think.

craps.
peace.

pressure.

Wednesday.
Having extra curriculum activities.
1stly was st john.
Nothing much.
Just need to make a group to have presentation on CPR, choking etc.

Chemistry club.
Yay!
We made perfume.
Kinda failed.
But we going to redo it next 2 weeks.
Today.
We did pandan flavour perfume.
But ended up pandan + uhu gum flavour.
Stinks.
Alcohol stinks.
Acid more stinks.
Accidentaly poured the acid on my hand.
My hand stinks as a skunk.
The smell is still there.
Eww!
Heated the beaker.
And when we took it out, all the dilute was dried up.
Left pandan leaf!
lol.
Funny.
Everyone camwhoring in the lab after the perfume making.
We had fun.
Real fun !

Biology class was boring.
Not even a single people in my class understood what teacher was teaching.
Even bao shian.
And she doesn't let us out until when recess is almost finish.
- -"
Recess, done my math tuition h/w.
And prepared to go home.
Back home.
Last minute call.
Teacher called and I need to attend extra class.
I not even played my pieces.
I just played my scales.
Contain like 84 scales I guess.
For hour and half.
My hand damn freakingly pain.
Now I need to rush my scales.
And bad comments from teacher.
Oh god!
I need to practise like million of times.
But time is running out.
Tomorrow 2.27pm.
The door of hell is officially open for me.
I really need a wish right now.
Will do anything to get my scales done.
I hate scales.

Yay! Tomorrow gonna eat sushi.
Sushi : )
Yummy !
After tomorrow.
Everything will be more relax.
No more piano class.
No more aural class.
But need to work for next week.
Sigh.

Craps.
Peace.

soul-less.

Today.
Late for school.
And went for assembly.
It was bored as usual.
Biology class.
Biology test.
I think I'm gonna fail.
For sure !
Sigh.
Sigh.
Forget about it then.

After biology,
I think is PA and MUET.
PA can't skip class.
But MUET skipped.
Walked around the school just to waste the time.
Chat with jeanne.
Sigh.
Boredom.

Recess.
I felt sick.
Mathematics T h/w a LOT !
Tuition and school.
I'm damn lazy today.
Super lazy.
Chemistry 2 periods.
Ponteng in the class.
S.L.E.E.P.I.N.G.
I really slept for 2 hrs.
Whoa.
I need that.

The last period was tan jin ooi.
Damn freakingly stupid.
Damn hate her.
Pissed!
She act the innocent face.
She kept saying to ask us to keep quiet.
Damn !
If have noise, the class won't be damn boring.
Pissed !
Go to hell.

Just went for piano class.
Hour half played non-stop.
My hand pain.
Well, need to sacrifice abit since piano exam is around the corner.
: (
Today I need to go to the mall to get the plain rank.
Sigh!
Just wondering why I'm so busy while others is so free.

Craps.
Peace.

happy.

Today.
Schooling day.
Reached school.
Having assembly.
Bored.

Biology class!
Yay !
Experiment xD
Experimenting to observe cheek cell and onion cell.
Whoa.
My experiment rocks!
I've the most beautiful cheek cell.
And the most distinct cell that can see nuclues : )))
While for onion cell,
Still good.
But not as good as baoshian's onion cell.
But I'm satified : )

Well most of the periods were bored.
Especially tan jin ooi.
Bored to death.

Recess.
Haha!
LMAO.
Chiew ee is soooo funny!
Damn funny!
HAHAHAHA !
Well tomorrow having exam.
Biology exam.
Sigh!
Haven't study abit.
Well.
Just read thru will do : )
Got tips xD
Last but not least.
Tuition tonight.

Craps.
Peace.

sagittarus.

乐观与忧愁：射手座人的内心不是外表看上去那么乐观的，因为喜欢看的远，容易担忧的事情也就多，在他们的字典里，即使现在好，也不一定代表未来好，有时候 很多人觉得很好的一个工作或一个伴侣，他们很轻易的就会放弃掉，可能只是因为一个毫不起眼的小原因。所以，这样的外在表现，就让人们觉得他们不喜欢被某件 事情或某个人束缚住，追求自由的，没有压力的感觉。 现实：常说射手座是追求梦想的人，但往往忽略了他们现实的一面，算计起来不会比处女座差哦，只是更高明更隐藏罢了。射手座人的梦想是必须建立在现实的基础 上的，一般他们很少谈及自己的梦想，而是实际的去做一些向梦想靠拢的事情。如果可以借巧力完成的事情，决不会多花一点工夫。所以有时候射手座也容易给人耍 小聪明的感觉。可是，不得不承认他们完成的还满不错。也许终其一生，他们都在考虑怎么巧妙的做一些事情，花最少的精力去达到最好的效果。所以，很多射手座 看上去让人们会觉得很懒，但是其实他们的大脑可没有停下过思考现实的事情。 拒绝低俗：几乎所有的射手座内心都是骄傲的，其程度绝不亚于狮子座。只不过他们不会显现在脸上，外在的表现总是随和的，恰当的。可是内在有着极强的自尊 心，敏感也情绪化。因为射手座人心中是骄傲的，所以他们拒绝低俗，不喜欢任何俗气的、粗鲁的事或人。如果可以，他们希望一切有关的事物，都是优雅的、高尚 的，值得品味的。而真正能让他们觉得值得交朋友或谈恋爱的人是很少的，虽然表面上他们是很随和的。 多情：很多人说射手座多情，尤其是男性。其实在射手座人的心目中，对于爱情确实有理想化的倾向，和他们谈恋爱，是一件高难度的事情。他们非常讨厌俗气的 人，所以你不能很物质或喜欢谈钱，但是他们又很现实，所以你不能一文不名，各方面也必须有一定的实力。物质与精神，你必须平衡的刚刚好，才让他们觉得你值 得去爱。或者，你有足够的神秘感，可以让他们不知道你的缺点在哪里，而盲目的爱你。一般，当然是没有完美无缺的人的，所以，可能象金牛座这样永远会让射手 感觉捉摸不透的闷闷的人，会非常吸引他们；或者象双子那样，足够机智，懂得察言观色，捕捉他们的情绪，才会让他们感觉到爱情的甜蜜。一般射手的感情模式 是，第一阶段，你们还不熟悉，他（她）爱上了你，非常热情。第二阶段，你们逐渐熟悉，而他（她）开始龟毛，整天挑剔你的毛病，无论是背地里还是当面。如果 你有幸通过他（她）的挑剔过程，基本挑剔出的毛病为零或者你把缺点保密的非常好；那么进入第三阶段，他们就又是忠诚和热情的爱人了。但是基本能通过第二阶 段的人非常少，所以有了射手多情一说。其实射手对恋人的挑剔，是源于对爱情的挑剔，对丧失自由感的恐惧。 射手座人的人生，往往是幸运的，因为他们是聪慧的、明朗的、通透的。与众不同，也许是他们终生追求的梦想，希望每一个射手人，可以找到他们的梦想！ 　　人人都说射手座是感情的骗子，对爱情不尊重，只追求片刻的快感，是花心与冲满欲望的象征。朋友们…你们了解射手座最真实的一面吗？ 射手座是大孩子，天真与善良，遇到爱情时，可能让人感觉不认真，付出的比谁都少。可是，知道吗？射手座很想爱，却也很怕爱！刚开始他们只是慢慢的付出，谨 慎的爱，好怕自己会受伤。可是在一句一句的爱，一天一天的相处下，射手座把带刺的防备丢掉，开始不顾一切的去爱他们所爱的人，在别人眼中，只是射手座为了 达到某种目的而作的行动。可射手座不介意，他会在自己幸福的想象中陶醉，希望对方能感受自己的爱，想对方觉得与自己一齐是幸福的。 在射手座爱上了一个人，他会把自己放到最后。有苦自己承担，可能会因为吵了一场小架而不开心，却也是最快认错，无论谁的错，他们都会包容，知道吗？射手座 会因为深爱一个人而原谅他的背叛，会因为你的一句话付出很多。他们爱玩，在玩的同时，也希望把那一份好心情带给你，射手座是乐观的。 　 人们总觉得射手座的世界很快乐，可是呢？射手座难过时没有人知道，他不想让别人可怜自己，射手座不坚强，可是很善良。在你难过时哄你开心，让你有依靠，分 手后，他会哭者去想属于你们俩幸福的回忆，也不想爱的人因为同情而勉强和他一齐。他比谁都希望自己爱的人快乐幸福，却常常忽略了自己，全身都是伤也笑着告 诉你，我很好不用担心。 　　在所有人看到他的笑容以为他没事，却不知道失恋对射手座有多大伤害，华丽的外表下有一颗脆弱的需要别人了解和安慰的心。知道嘛？你的一点关心，心思细 腻的射手座会记得你对他的好，把自己的爱毫无保留的送给你，射手座是不被了解的，可他们不会怨谁。他们会傻傻的认为，让我承担吧，别让别人也受到伤害。所 以，不要让快乐的射手座痛苦，别让他们最有魅力的笑容成为掩饰痛苦的伪装，认真爱射手座。你会知道射手座的爱，是充满泪水的…

7-11

today i woke up at 9am.
9am is early.
no guitar today.
should be sleeping till 10am.
well,
i woke up.
forget about it.

my dad called me.
dad : what u doing?
me : just woke.
dad : what?! do u know what time now?
me : dunno. i think it's 9am.
dad : 9am and u just woke up from the bed.
me : so what's the problem?
dad : nevermind forget about it. i'm going breakfast after fetch mei from tuition class.
me : so? u telling me that u wanna come and fetch me?
dad : yes. u better get your ass from the bed and prepare. going to fetch u about 945am.
me : okay okay okay okay. bye
*conversation end*
i got my ass from the bed and walked to the bathroom.
and facebook-ing.
ha-ha-ha!
and went for breakfast.
at first, my dad wanted to eat mcD.
and re think about it.
nahh.. not going.
well ended up at oldtown.
sat there almost quite a long time.
and went back home.
i saw yee ven and siew ai on the way.
i think they're going to tuition class ( ryan chong ).
then got back home.
prepare to go ecm.

my dad !
last minute called me to get something for my mom.
so i rushed to yi gor's kopitiam to get something for her.
and taman selera to get porridge.
unfortunately..
that shop didn't open.
and i saw joann there ! : )

drove to the hospital.
and left the thing there.
and i told my mom i need to go to the mall.
and she asked me whether i have enough money.
haha !
it's miracle !
this is the first time she asked me whether i've enough money.
usually i use my own money.
well, i asked from dad.
gagaga !

the mall.
eclipse was nice.
very nice.
especially the fighting part.
: )
well, too much of kissing part.
kinda annoying.
some others audience shouted and making those funny noise like never seen people kiss before.
= ="
before that.
went for sing k.
haha !
haha !
haha ! all i say is laugh.
sang mostly a-mei's song.
i love sing k xD

after eclipse, out from the cinema.
shocked to see jiayi, yit yee, joann, kar ann, dickson and loh kien joe and law kah wai.
they wearing slipers.
lol !
they went for yamchar and last minute decision to sing k.
shocked to see them there though.
and followed them to sing k.
99% is listening.
1% is sang a song = because u live.
= ="
after that, most of them went home.
i'm waiting for the next movie = predators.
walked around the mall.
walked.
walked.
and finally ended up at the cinema.
bought popcorn * my favourite *

well, movie was boring.
almost felt asleep.
boring.
boring.
boring.
super boring.
*yawn* *yawn* *yawn*
then went back home.
took my bath.
and online : ))

well, that's all.
craps.
peace.

time.

Sunday.
This sunday seems different.
I don't know what's so different.
Well, forget about it.
I'm lazy to think about it.

Yesterday night,
I wanted to get something to eat.
When walked down the stairs.
Remembered my dad it's outside.
so I called him to get me something to eat.
McD !
Gosh.
Waited for him more than half an hour.
He's damn slow.
Starvation.
When he's back,
The mcD is cold.
- -"
Well have no other choice to eat it.
Sigh.
Never ask my dad for special delievary anymore.
Damn freaking slow.

Yesterday I webcam-ed with my cousin from australia!
I miss her so much!
Saw my aunty and uncle.
I miss them.
It has been a long time never see them.
Miss them so much.
I must webcam with them often.
I can't wait to visit them soon : )

Craps.
Peace.

saturday.

today.
is saturday.
it's a holiday.
early in the morning.
went to badminton.
first time see sooo many people playing.
i mean it's crowded.
i reached late.
not i'm driving.
jiayin the pro driver driving.

then.
many people said i look soul-less.
well.
do i?
hm.
soul-less.
haha.
and had a good chat with chiew ee !
hahahahahaha !
highly confidential.
xD

then went to visit my mom.
sigh.
i miss her.
so sudden.
she can't go home yet.
well, that means..
i need to do her housework for her.
firstly, i need to cook !
seriously cook?!
i will burn the kitchen down.
so i decided to buy.
and maybe i'll fry eggs.
secondly, i need to wash clothes !
seriously washing?!
i will spoil the washing machine.
but i'm thinking to send it to the laundry shop to wash it xD
but dad asked me to wash by using washing machine.
well..
washing machine is difficult to control.
too many steps.
too many procedures.
urgh, well throw this to my sister to do since she wants to volunteer : )
thirdly, i need to throw rubbish !
whoa. rubbish stinks !
that's not a problem at all.
just ewwwww ~!
lastly , i need to boil hot water !
well, just a piece of cake.
minor problem.
*wet wet water* xDDDD
i need to do so many things while my mom is not around.
i miss the time when she's around.
maybe after today.
MAYBE
i will help out her to cut down her housework.

i'm feel so lazy today.
i don't really understand what's the chemistry teacher was talking about.
i think i'm just soul-less.
i don't know where my soul went.

craps.
peace.

accident.

i went out just now to see my mom.
then.
i went to piano class.
then.
something happened.
accident.
little scratch on my hand.
but car.
disaster.
disaster.
dad going to bring me to the insurance company to ask whether can claim.
well.
i'm so not going with him.
he sure will keep on nagging me.
well.
let he do all this.
and i'm using my mom's old car.
sigh.
my mom's old car.
it's really very old.
and it's hot.
engine something wrong.
well.
im going to use that car in the future.
SIGH.
well.

dad never scold.
he just threw something.
means he's mad.
i'm so afraid that my dad going to 'kill' me.
so i called my friend.
well.
thanks for helping.
i'm so scare just now.
but.
i think now is okay.

i'm so reckless.
reckless.
i think i should change.

craps.
peace.

moodless.

Go back home.
Trying to get some sleep.
And in a sudden.
My dad woke me up.
Something happened.
Something shocked me.
Drove out with my dad.
He left everything behind.
And rushed.
When reached there.
Nobody is here yet.
And we asked.
And we waited.
I'm fear.
: (

school.

I'm at school now.
No teacher.
Chatting with bao shian.
Today.
Is an cooling day.
Hope there's no teacher for the whole day.
I'm sick of studying for this week.

thinking.
Thinking.
Thinking.
Many thinking has been going on.
Well.
I think should solve it myself.
Don't wanna get any help from others.
Problem should be solve by myself.
I'm not heartless.
This is who I am.
I don't care.

Love me or hate me.
Craps.
Peace.

random.

Yesterday.
Was wednesday.
I skipped school.
Because it's too boring at school.
Decided to skip.
Most incredible thing is.
Bao shian finally skipped school.
It's a most miracle thing.
She never ever skip school for no reason.
Now.
She done it.
Good job ! : )
I woke up in the morning.
Went for piano class.
Sigh.
Piano.
Complained by teacher that it's horrible.
Horrible.
Horrible.
Sigh.
Will improve it.
After that I went to hoiyin.
For breakfast.
I ordered a curry + soup mee.
Yummmmyyyy : ))
And we gossiped.
Gossiped many things.
Ha-ha!
Then I fetch yityee back to her home.
And on the way home, decided to pass thru our school.
SMART.
Ha-ha-ha!
And 'show off' to dai lou that we ate our breakfast.
Ka-ka-ka!
And I fetch jiayi home.
For me, of course I'm not going home.
I went to air putih to eat chicken rice.
It's not enough for me for just a bowl of curry + soup mee.
Sat there for awhile before I went home.

Then at night.
Went to tuition class.
I understood the front part.
But don't understood the end part.
I change to mon and wed class.
Tues and thurs I need to work.
It's time for me to work.
I need cash.
Parents just don't wanna give me cash.
But I understand that they want me to know money is difficult to earn.
Money don't drop from the sky.
Well.
Now I understand.
Asked money from them already very difficult.
In addition asking money from them.
Sigh.
The only way.
Want money?
Earn for it.

Today.
Is thursday.
Whole day no teacher attended the classes.
Only one.
Mrs Tan Jin Ooi.
She said for choir students, u teach them when they're back.
For those skipped class, don't care.
I don't give a damn.
Who cares?!
Whole day stayed at BK2.
Jiayi and Bihui brought laptop to school.
Online, gaming etc.
Well.
Me gossiped with jiayi they'll.
Sigh.
I don't know what to say.
Speechless.
But there is few part is quite boring.
I'm bored to death.
Dramas.
Sigh.
Don't know what to say.
Dots.
Dots.
Dots.
Mind my own business.

My dad is home.
Well.
Not excited nor sad.
But he's going to KL soon.
Well.
Used to that he's not at home.
For my mom.
She suddenly talked about sensitive topic with me.
She talked about my lame cousin about borrowing clothes.
Like seriously?!
I don't even wanna borrow anything from her.
I'm pissed.
If I want something, I'll get for my own.
I need to get baju kebaya.
Sigh.
Sick of finding traditional clothes.

Tomorrow.
Teacher will be attending class.
Sigh.
Bored.
Siens.
Study.
Books.
Words.
Notes.
Headache.

Sick of my dad and mom.
When they talked, they started to fight.
Sick of hearing them quarrel.
I'm sick.
Kept quiet.
Listening to ipod.
To ignore them.

Today.
I went to mcD.
There's a few policemen.
Drinking coffee.
Ha-ha-ha!
They saw me walking alone.
They asked me.
Police : jalan sendiri?
Me : ya.
Police : baru habis sekolah?
Me : ya.
Police : mana ibu?
Me : kerja.
Police : kenapa tak balik rumah? Lepak di tc.
Me : rumah takder org.
Police : lain kali jangan lepak di tc seorang.
Me : ya.
*walked away*
Shocked that policeman asked me to go home.
LOL !
Today is the mosy busiest day.
I drove around the town to get my stuff done.
St john uniform finally done.
Cost me a lot.
Sigh.
Cash cash cash.
He-he!
Well I think that's all for today.

Craps.
Peace.