nocturne.

Piano.
Violin.
Guitar.
Drum.
I learn too many musical instrument.
had to stop few.

now,
stopped for guitar and drum.
and now still wondering should i continue my piano.
i passed my grade 8.
and mom kept on nagging about did i done my decision.
well, i miss piano.
and i realised i haven't touch the piano for months after the exam finished.
wanted to play
but always forget or i ignore it for example doing other things.
online.
watch dramas.
movie.
hang out with friends.
tuition homework.

holiday for so long.
i haven't even touch it.
i feel bad for the piano.
and i miss it very much.
i don't know whether should i continue my piano.
i'm form 6.
if i continue now, i need to wait next year to take my exam.
and next year having very IMPORTANT exam - STPM.
stress after writing it. zzzz

STPM is important.
piano also important.
mom asked me whether i'm interested into music industry.
but i don't know.
hard to make my decision.
i wanted to learn.
but i need to think about the expenses of my family.
well, dad having financial problem.
mom wanted to save for my university.
what should i do now?

i asked around for opinion.
my violin teacher said that taking diploma is good but if u're not into music industry, it's wasted.
since i already finish it and u know most of the pieces.
it's no point to learn.
but...
i wanted to learn.
well, for the certificate of course.
certificate is very important though.
i just wanna go for higher level.
i don't know whether i can manage it.
it's not easy.

IF....
I can't go for medical industry but at least i've my piano certificate to help me continue a better future.
and of course if i made it, music industry won't be my choice anymore.
i just need a second option.
hmm.....
what should i do?
although i can make most of my own decision well, but if related to my future.
i just don't know.
well, i can't ask my parents.
they sure will ask me back.
it's your future and u asking us blah blah blah.
parents !

well i thought of business before.
BUT...
dad said business it's not a easy job too.
not everyone can be successful as Donald Trump.
what he has is chance. money. talent.
not everyone can be a successful business woman/man.
you need to work triple hard to climb to the top.
earn big bucks.
living big house.
driving big car.
having a whole building with your name on it.
big fortune.
BUT at the same time, going into business..
u need to sacrifice time to concentrate on your job.
i don't born with a silver spoon in my mouth.
so do my dad.
i just don't know.

last but not least.
though of working with my dad.
duhhh...
but it's just a very last option.
i don't wanna rely on my dad for every single penny.
most of the example of working with their own parents is miserable/disaster.
i don't wanna end up to b just like them.

dad want us to be in a professional industry for example doctor, engineers etc.
well, i thought of it though.
and i decided to be a dentist.
lawyer : headache. laws. remember. speaking skill *sorry i don't speak well*
engineers : urgh physics. will faint any sooner.
doctor : well, it's better. well i like biology. i just the only industry i can 'invest'.
just somehow i don't know what i wanna be or who i wanna be.

i told my mom before that i wanted to just marry a rich guy and stay at home and sleep till 12pm.
my mom told me that i'm crazy and dream too much.
AHAHAHAHA
living in a big house with maid.
i don't need to wake up to wash the clothes.
wash the plates.
make my meal.
wash the car.
mop the floor.
nahh...
it's just a dream.
everyone need to do that somehow one day in the future.
trying to be independent and less rely on somebody else.
: )
i guess now i just need to follow the flow.
let thing go on their own and lead me to somewhere.

craps.
peace.