Since yesterday I was walking to my room mate about family problem.
It's not really family problem, just attitude between relatives and friends around them.
As for her, her relatives look down at her family because non of them are studying overseas.
In people's mind, if you studying overseas, it's like more likely to be smarter or can earn more.
People should really get off this fickle mind of them.
It gets annoyed.
Studying anywhere in the world is the same.
Just depends on you how to gonna face it with an open heart or what.
Coming to Indonesia study is not a bad thing.
Although is not a very developing country in the world, but at least they have their own teaching method that are different from others.
Before coming over here, getting bad feedback from relatives etc.
I'm so over it already but somehow cousins are still blinded with all the bullshit.
It's not really a joke anymore but still he still joking about it for no reason.
Ok, fine.
I'm so over it.
As I'm going back Malaysia in few more days, I'm excited but at the same time, have to prepare myself infront of relatives encounter some difficulty and stages of humiliation or some shit.
As times goes by, it doesn't matter anymore because there is no turning back.
Have to mentally and physically prepare myself to be smart when I got home.
I still don't get why life have to be so complicated! *scratch head*
Not everyone go Australia, England or USA will success in life.
There's cases that they failed.
So, conclusion no matter government school or private school or overseas, everywhere is the same.
You can treat it as good and bad in anyone of them.
Sometimes, it is not under your control.
Things somehow change.
Ahh! Exam this week.
Assignments this week.
School poster this week.
Going back malaysia in 4 days.
My MBMJ in 4 days.
Lovely bed and room in 4 days.
Food in 4 days.
Nightmares in 4 days.
Please treat me good. I don't want to get sick.
I will drink lots of water and be healthy when I got back.
I need to travel !
.: Decision are the hardest to make, especially when it's a choice between where you should be and where you want to be. .: Dream as you will live forever, live as you would die tomorrow.
Sunday, December 16, 2012
Monday, December 3, 2012
STRUGGLE
i can't believe that i'm having this super weird feelings.
this feeling i don't know how to say about.
some times, it's not that i don't want to say or act but is the thing on my mind i can't get off with.
and tired of telling the same thing over and over and over again.
still never listen.
i really don't want to care about it.
but what to do?
it's hard! can't just do what should you do?
don't be such tingle around like a kid.
grow up.
i really have to give up upon you some times.
but after an advice, i decided to do my own way.
that is give up and don't help you anymore.
helping you since day 1 is ruining your life like piece of shit.
you never listen.
and i really tired of telling you.
and tired of listening to your bullshit.
games is all you have.
then have fun with it.
second weird feelings is when i feel that i'm stingy.
ugh i don't know whether it's weird to feel something like this but somehow, my money is way more enough to be rich and eat and stay a healthy lifestyle.
but because of borrowing you, i have to eat instant noodles and eat something is way not my food.
and i really hate it.
really do.
and i don't know what to do.
ugh forget about it.
bye.
this feeling i don't know how to say about.
some times, it's not that i don't want to say or act but is the thing on my mind i can't get off with.
and tired of telling the same thing over and over and over again.
still never listen.
i really don't want to care about it.
but what to do?
it's hard! can't just do what should you do?
don't be such tingle around like a kid.
grow up.
i really have to give up upon you some times.
but after an advice, i decided to do my own way.
that is give up and don't help you anymore.
helping you since day 1 is ruining your life like piece of shit.
you never listen.
and i really tired of telling you.
and tired of listening to your bullshit.
games is all you have.
then have fun with it.
second weird feelings is when i feel that i'm stingy.
ugh i don't know whether it's weird to feel something like this but somehow, my money is way more enough to be rich and eat and stay a healthy lifestyle.
but because of borrowing you, i have to eat instant noodles and eat something is way not my food.
and i really hate it.
really do.
and i don't know what to do.
ugh forget about it.
bye.
Thursday, November 29, 2012
Happy Birthday to me
Todayis 30th of November and of course is my birthday.
This year is different kind of birthday because i celebrating at different place without my friends and family.
Besides that, it's somehow weird to celebrate it with new friends because it's not like we're super close yet but yeah they're awesome shit :D
specially thank to my dearest friend ever, Chiew Ee
hahahaha well, she texted me a nice message and it's way much more different way to wish me happy birthday.
i was shocked and touched because she said she's going to treat me eat whatever food i want when i got back to Malaysia.
Happiest moment ever.
Secondly thank is Miss PMS Bao Shian!
she wrote me a very long long long message on my wall and kept me waiting for weeks for her birthday present but last she said that she haven't even send it out.
Grrr! kept me waiting and it's noT that surprise.
<3 but="but" much.="much." p="p" somehow="somehow" thank="thank" very="very" you="you">
Thirdly is Miss AGUA - Jia Yin.
hahahaha oh well, touched for your long blogpost about my birthday.
and PLEASE come to medan, despo for people coming here to see me for a reason.
:D i will be waiting for you.
as for my family member - my dearest sister.
was chatting with her on facebook message.
she was writing something scary and funny.
sis : oi oi oi oi oi oi oi x infinity times
me : what? my iPod want to rosak already.. don't oi so many times will lag
sis : hahahahahahah ( all she keep on doing is laughing ) so you want ipod for your birthday?
me : yes! please and thank you. my ipod really rosak okay?
sis : maybe when i start to work and earn money. hahahaha now no money.
me : Oh no! my iPod burn for my birthday! ): my iPod surely die in this few weeks.
sis : i just can afford your iPod Suffer!
* was looking at this sentence makes me lmao! my sister is so funny! *
me : hahahahahaha Suffer!!
sis : because i need to suffer to buy you one!
P/s : awwwwwwww funny sister!
my dad - annoying one.
he BBM me last night.
he : happy birthday my darling girl.
me : thank you and where is my present?
he : hehehehehe
me : i don't see any parcel reaching my hostel.
he : later.
me : where is my present?! i want my bag!!
he : wait.. anyway, it's late already and i'm kinda sleepy.. good night jie.
P/s : OMG can't believe he said he's going to sleep when i'm asking him for my birthday present!
such an annoyed dad.
anyway, Happy 20th birthday ! :D
This year is different kind of birthday because i celebrating at different place without my friends and family.
Besides that, it's somehow weird to celebrate it with new friends because it's not like we're super close yet but yeah they're awesome shit :D
specially thank to my dearest friend ever, Chiew Ee
hahahaha well, she texted me a nice message and it's way much more different way to wish me happy birthday.
i was shocked and touched because she said she's going to treat me eat whatever food i want when i got back to Malaysia.
Happiest moment ever.
Secondly thank is Miss PMS Bao Shian!
she wrote me a very long long long message on my wall and kept me waiting for weeks for her birthday present but last she said that she haven't even send it out.
Grrr! kept me waiting and it's noT that surprise.
<3 but="but" much.="much." p="p" somehow="somehow" thank="thank" very="very" you="you">
Thirdly is Miss AGUA - Jia Yin.
hahahaha oh well, touched for your long blogpost about my birthday.
and PLEASE come to medan, despo for people coming here to see me for a reason.
:D i will be waiting for you.
as for my family member - my dearest sister.
was chatting with her on facebook message.
she was writing something scary and funny.
sis : oi oi oi oi oi oi oi x infinity times
me : what? my iPod want to rosak already.. don't oi so many times will lag
sis : hahahahahahah ( all she keep on doing is laughing ) so you want ipod for your birthday?
me : yes! please and thank you. my ipod really rosak okay?
sis : maybe when i start to work and earn money. hahahaha now no money.
me : Oh no! my iPod burn for my birthday! ): my iPod surely die in this few weeks.
sis : i just can afford your iPod Suffer!
* was looking at this sentence makes me lmao! my sister is so funny! *
me : hahahahahaha Suffer!!
sis : because i need to suffer to buy you one!
P/s : awwwwwwww funny sister!
my dad - annoying one.
he BBM me last night.
he : happy birthday my darling girl.
me : thank you and where is my present?
he : hehehehehe
me : i don't see any parcel reaching my hostel.
he : later.
me : where is my present?! i want my bag!!
he : wait.. anyway, it's late already and i'm kinda sleepy.. good night jie.
P/s : OMG can't believe he said he's going to sleep when i'm asking him for my birthday present!
such an annoyed dad.
anyway, Happy 20th birthday ! :D
Saturday, November 3, 2012
November month
i hope november month would be a better month because october month is terrible shit.
and november is my birthday month although is the very last day.
basically still count as my birthday month !
my parents came last week, hang around medan for 4 days 3 nights over here.
went to quite some 'expensive' places.
JW marriott to eat buffet dinner at night was the best.
and most of it they paid for the foods and transports.
i didn't even use a penny for the 3 days.
but the worst part of it was my parents gave me little bit less for my allowance.
oh damn shit! have to be thrifty for the month.
bought a new blackberry phone :D
happy kiddo !
at the same time, miss my old phone because my old devil phone cover couldn't match it.
and here can't find the same devil phone cover ):
and room is getting smaller and smaller and smaller because my stuff is growing and growing and growing.
room mates complaint about too many STUFF around the room and most of it are mine.
after one round of cleaning and packing up, finally looks much more nicer.
and cleaner.
but at the same time after that, i'm so obsessed with mopping the floor and wiping the cupboard and most of all washing the bathroom.
weird me.
and worst thing happened over here.
that stupid idiot bitch aunty getting on my nerves and it was a long story.
i hate her till the end of my life.
had a one to one conversation with my dad because of her.
and i have to say i need to thanks to a girl.
that girl just ruined my life with her bloody mouth.
acting she knows everything about it but she just being bitchy.
basically SOME of human over her acting bitchy as usual.
but ignore them.
my life still will go on how i want it to be.
i should really forget about it.
have to persuade myself about it..
and the best news every for this month is i'm going back malaysia on the 20th of december for christmas!
and the air ticket is already booked.
awesome shit !
get back to my room, my bed, my car and most of all my curry mee!
miss my auntie's cooking, the soup and the rice and freedom!
and travel to BANGKOK.
although sound kinda shitty but at least is a very good travel moment with my parents!
without bitchy lady/ drama queen.
have to get some new pants at KL soon.
and some clothes too.
or maybe shoes.
and bags.
need to shop.
need to spend.
shop till i drop.
:D
looking forwards to end of december !
and november is my birthday month although is the very last day.
basically still count as my birthday month !
my parents came last week, hang around medan for 4 days 3 nights over here.
went to quite some 'expensive' places.
JW marriott to eat buffet dinner at night was the best.
and most of it they paid for the foods and transports.
i didn't even use a penny for the 3 days.
but the worst part of it was my parents gave me little bit less for my allowance.
oh damn shit! have to be thrifty for the month.
bought a new blackberry phone :D
happy kiddo !
at the same time, miss my old phone because my old devil phone cover couldn't match it.
and here can't find the same devil phone cover ):
and room is getting smaller and smaller and smaller because my stuff is growing and growing and growing.
room mates complaint about too many STUFF around the room and most of it are mine.
after one round of cleaning and packing up, finally looks much more nicer.
and cleaner.
but at the same time after that, i'm so obsessed with mopping the floor and wiping the cupboard and most of all washing the bathroom.
weird me.
and worst thing happened over here.
that stupid idiot bitch aunty getting on my nerves and it was a long story.
i hate her till the end of my life.
had a one to one conversation with my dad because of her.
and i have to say i need to thanks to a girl.
that girl just ruined my life with her bloody mouth.
acting she knows everything about it but she just being bitchy.
basically SOME of human over her acting bitchy as usual.
but ignore them.
my life still will go on how i want it to be.
i should really forget about it.
have to persuade myself about it..
and the best news every for this month is i'm going back malaysia on the 20th of december for christmas!
and the air ticket is already booked.
awesome shit !
get back to my room, my bed, my car and most of all my curry mee!
miss my auntie's cooking, the soup and the rice and freedom!
and travel to BANGKOK.
although sound kinda shitty but at least is a very good travel moment with my parents!
without bitchy lady/ drama queen.
have to get some new pants at KL soon.
and some clothes too.
or maybe shoes.
and bags.
need to shop.
need to spend.
shop till i drop.
:D
looking forwards to end of december !
Wednesday, October 10, 2012
complicated
very complicated feeling i had here.
it's not really what i wish for.
but somehow, mentioning about it causing lots of problems.
problems and questions that cannot be answered.
what should i do?
very confusing.
i shouldn't choose this at first?
am i at the correct direction for searching for my answer?
maybe or maybe not.
i'm sorry that i said something wrong in the past or in the future.
verbalized words that hurts.
i wish would turn back time.
everything start over again.
back to where it stared at first and i would change my future.
it's not really what i wish for.
but somehow, mentioning about it causing lots of problems.
problems and questions that cannot be answered.
what should i do?
very confusing.
i shouldn't choose this at first?
am i at the correct direction for searching for my answer?
maybe or maybe not.
i'm sorry that i said something wrong in the past or in the future.
verbalized words that hurts.
i wish would turn back time.
everything start over again.
back to where it stared at first and i would change my future.
Wednesday, October 3, 2012
anger
anger rising all over again.
it's what people usually think about my choice coming over here.
it's not like that i choose to come.
i've no choice.
why people don't understand?
wanted to go australia but my dad thinks it's not worth it.
so he asked me to come here.
cause problems and conflicts between family and friends.
especially my aunties.
i appreciated their help in finding school and giving me extra choice.
i would like to choose it but don't tell me about it.
you should directly tell my dad about it.
but they don't.
after coming here, i thought time would make it less worst.
no, it don't.
aunties start to blaming my mom about it.
it's not like my mom did the decision for me.
dad asked me, it is that i confirmed to come here with my own decision?
i answered, yeah, this is what i want.
others don't understand that i don't have a choice.
do i given a choice to choose?
that's my only last choice if i want continue persue dream as a dentist.
just now, my cousin greet me with hi indian lady.
i was so pissed off with it.
i scolded him back that ask him to get his information right before scolding people indian lady.
what's wrong with going india, indonesia?!
just it's a rural area compare australia and UK.
cannot say that i'd fun here, but at least my first step to be a dentist.
just people don't get over it.
just got pissed off that's all.
it's what people usually think about my choice coming over here.
it's not like that i choose to come.
i've no choice.
why people don't understand?
wanted to go australia but my dad thinks it's not worth it.
so he asked me to come here.
cause problems and conflicts between family and friends.
especially my aunties.
i appreciated their help in finding school and giving me extra choice.
i would like to choose it but don't tell me about it.
you should directly tell my dad about it.
but they don't.
after coming here, i thought time would make it less worst.
no, it don't.
aunties start to blaming my mom about it.
it's not like my mom did the decision for me.
dad asked me, it is that i confirmed to come here with my own decision?
i answered, yeah, this is what i want.
others don't understand that i don't have a choice.
do i given a choice to choose?
that's my only last choice if i want continue persue dream as a dentist.
just now, my cousin greet me with hi indian lady.
i was so pissed off with it.
i scolded him back that ask him to get his information right before scolding people indian lady.
what's wrong with going india, indonesia?!
just it's a rural area compare australia and UK.
cannot say that i'd fun here, but at least my first step to be a dentist.
just people don't get over it.
just got pissed off that's all.
Tuesday, October 2, 2012
unspoken
the unspoken.
few weeks from home.
no matter how long i'd already get use to it but still missing them all the time.
i miss the time when we always snatch for a tv at home for the favourite show and dinner every weekends.
this is what i miss the most.
since i've been away from home, home sweet home - finally understand the feeling about it.
miss the freedom back home that i can go out any time, any where with friends.
even for a short tea time, it's the most fun time ever.
and new friends over here..
not what i expected.
somehow, believe yourselves is the most important living priority.
no matter how close you're, you still have to take extra precaution.
something, somehow happened.
ignorance although always is the best but takes time to digest the problems.
silence.
just something i used to do over here.
don't want to cause any problems over.
although i didn't do anything about it, still rumours.
just feel super stress lately and i don't know what's wrong with me.
maybe exam near the corner?
and most important is my white collar formal t shirt haven't even buy for this coming thursday exam.
thursday exam start with buddhism.
talked to my friends lately and they told me to stay strong and just be who you are.
i don't know whether i can stay strong and mature for myself.
although i have my own mind set but at the same time, i need guidance.
nobody to talk to when feel super down midnight.
back hometown, i can call anyone in the middle of the night just to talk about my problems.
but somehow, things change.
doubt that whether this is the correct path for me but i came.
so just continue the path that i've been destined.
somehow it's tough to live in a brand new world with brand new people, just i've to go on.
safety zone is always be myself.
few weeks from home.
no matter how long i'd already get use to it but still missing them all the time.
i miss the time when we always snatch for a tv at home for the favourite show and dinner every weekends.
this is what i miss the most.
since i've been away from home, home sweet home - finally understand the feeling about it.
miss the freedom back home that i can go out any time, any where with friends.
even for a short tea time, it's the most fun time ever.
and new friends over here..
not what i expected.
somehow, believe yourselves is the most important living priority.
no matter how close you're, you still have to take extra precaution.
something, somehow happened.
ignorance although always is the best but takes time to digest the problems.
silence.
just something i used to do over here.
don't want to cause any problems over.
although i didn't do anything about it, still rumours.
just feel super stress lately and i don't know what's wrong with me.
maybe exam near the corner?
and most important is my white collar formal t shirt haven't even buy for this coming thursday exam.
thursday exam start with buddhism.
talked to my friends lately and they told me to stay strong and just be who you are.
i don't know whether i can stay strong and mature for myself.
although i have my own mind set but at the same time, i need guidance.
nobody to talk to when feel super down midnight.
back hometown, i can call anyone in the middle of the night just to talk about my problems.
but somehow, things change.
doubt that whether this is the correct path for me but i came.
so just continue the path that i've been destined.
somehow it's tough to live in a brand new world with brand new people, just i've to go on.
safety zone is always be myself.
Sunday, September 30, 2012
Mooncake festival celebration
today is moon cake festival celebration.
without family and friends.
my old friends to be specific.
no moon cake.
no tanglung.
no beach.
no car.
no moon.
first time away from home without parents beside me celebrate moon cake festival celebration.
suppose to be a family gathering day.
but i'm separated from them.
suddenly feel extremely home sick.
i celebrated it by having mcD for dinner.
and took filet-o-fish.
watching Ghetto Justice 2 on the computer.
this is how i celebrate it over here.
somehow others lazy to go out so decided to stay at home.
continue being potatoes.
boring life.
anyway, HAPPY MOONCAKE FESTIVAL 2012.
without family and friends.
my old friends to be specific.
no moon cake.
no tanglung.
no beach.
no car.
no moon.
first time away from home without parents beside me celebrate moon cake festival celebration.
suppose to be a family gathering day.
but i'm separated from them.
suddenly feel extremely home sick.
i celebrated it by having mcD for dinner.
and took filet-o-fish.
watching Ghetto Justice 2 on the computer.
this is how i celebrate it over here.
somehow others lazy to go out so decided to stay at home.
continue being potatoes.
boring life.
anyway, HAPPY MOONCAKE FESTIVAL 2012.
Thursday, September 13, 2012
continued.
life as i go, continue.
continue on my hectic life over here with people and language.
THEY TALK TOO FAST.
okay, started my school and class on monday.
on monday, before school, it was very scary and funny at the same time because we're INTERNATIONAL students.
sounds great but it's not.
people over here don't give a damn where are u from.
they are really strict.
class was bloody hot and the aircon is not functional.
every day have to wear formal clothes to school is hot enough and most of all, i need to walk back and forth like few times.
sometimes i really feel extremely lazy to walk out from the class because it's was damn bloody hot man.
rather sleep in the class :/
first day of class, question that always been asked : WHERE IS THE CLASS.
or WHAT TIME CLASS START.
or most common thing is I'M LOST.
hahaha :D i have this problem since we're new over here.
and kept on asking around where is the bloody class and faculty.
but thank god i knew few seniors that willing to help over here (:
appreciate their help A LOT.
my class is at the 3rd floor, walk until sweat early in the morning.
and one class only have 4 aircon which is 2 not functional at all.
so basically one class with 2 aircons are bloody hot and sleepy.
toilet at school IS TERRIBLE.
no flush, no water and most of all NOT CLEAN.
but i don't know why my stomach always like to pain during class period and especially in school.
i feel damn sad :/ sigh.
always have to rush to toilet while the toilet is damn far away and most of all not clean at all.
food over at the school was alright.
don't want complain too much because it's already the best in the whole school.
walking around the campus can faint anytime so rather just stay at class.
met some new friends at school especially indonesian chinese.
they're very helpful and some even very pretty :)
they speak very good mandarin.
shame on us.
their mandarin is like those pure china/chinese slang.
*thumbs up*
for the first sem i'm going to learn AGAMA BUDDHIST.
that was the worst part ever. boring and worst.
wanted to skip that class so badly.
teach us how to be a buddhist.
told them that i'm a freethinker but too bad no free thinker class.
damn!
then besides that we're learning INDONESIA HISTORY.
how fun -.-
malaysia history is like very complicated.
now indonesia history, god bless me.
and the last is SIVIK DAN KEWARGANERAAN.
this one even boring, teacher kept on explaining about malaysia.
we want to learn INDONESIA stop talking about malaysia.
even though in malaysia, i don't really learn sivik at school.
fooling around.
worst part of university is have to study until saturday.
i hate going to school on saturday..
but no choice.
have to pass the subject so i could continue to the next semester.
and finish school around 4pm.
worst than high school.
suddenly miss high school especially form 6.
him, my friends, family and my enemy xD
hope to finish faster so i could go back malaysia asap.
i don't want to stay here.
i want go back home..
home sick.
continue on my hectic life over here with people and language.
THEY TALK TOO FAST.
okay, started my school and class on monday.
on monday, before school, it was very scary and funny at the same time because we're INTERNATIONAL students.
sounds great but it's not.
people over here don't give a damn where are u from.
they are really strict.
class was bloody hot and the aircon is not functional.
every day have to wear formal clothes to school is hot enough and most of all, i need to walk back and forth like few times.
sometimes i really feel extremely lazy to walk out from the class because it's was damn bloody hot man.
rather sleep in the class :/
first day of class, question that always been asked : WHERE IS THE CLASS.
or WHAT TIME CLASS START.
or most common thing is I'M LOST.
hahaha :D i have this problem since we're new over here.
and kept on asking around where is the bloody class and faculty.
but thank god i knew few seniors that willing to help over here (:
appreciate their help A LOT.
my class is at the 3rd floor, walk until sweat early in the morning.
and one class only have 4 aircon which is 2 not functional at all.
so basically one class with 2 aircons are bloody hot and sleepy.
toilet at school IS TERRIBLE.
no flush, no water and most of all NOT CLEAN.
but i don't know why my stomach always like to pain during class period and especially in school.
i feel damn sad :/ sigh.
always have to rush to toilet while the toilet is damn far away and most of all not clean at all.
food over at the school was alright.
don't want complain too much because it's already the best in the whole school.
walking around the campus can faint anytime so rather just stay at class.
met some new friends at school especially indonesian chinese.
they're very helpful and some even very pretty :)
they speak very good mandarin.
shame on us.
their mandarin is like those pure china/chinese slang.
*thumbs up*
for the first sem i'm going to learn AGAMA BUDDHIST.
that was the worst part ever. boring and worst.
wanted to skip that class so badly.
teach us how to be a buddhist.
told them that i'm a freethinker but too bad no free thinker class.
damn!
then besides that we're learning INDONESIA HISTORY.
how fun -.-
malaysia history is like very complicated.
now indonesia history, god bless me.
and the last is SIVIK DAN KEWARGANERAAN.
this one even boring, teacher kept on explaining about malaysia.
we want to learn INDONESIA stop talking about malaysia.
even though in malaysia, i don't really learn sivik at school.
fooling around.
worst part of university is have to study until saturday.
i hate going to school on saturday..
but no choice.
have to pass the subject so i could continue to the next semester.
and finish school around 4pm.
worst than high school.
suddenly miss high school especially form 6.
him, my friends, family and my enemy xD
hope to finish faster so i could go back malaysia asap.
i don't want to stay here.
i want go back home..
home sick.
Thursday, September 6, 2012
life cycle
life over here is HECTIC.
i can't find a new word to describe about it.
i was terrible to live alone with nobody especially my friends.
suddenly i feel my friends are the best although some times they're quite sbt xD
i can't find my own peace of mind over here.
it's really ridiculous.
i don't know what to do or react.
i try to be nice to everyone but not anyone of them appreciate it.
so, it's like wasting my time over here.
besides that...
everyone over here not everyone.
is SOME of us hated one girl called leelee.
makes me think of leelee in school SMART.
she also a bit creepy and scary like the puan lee.
then we chinese have our own gang over here.
but they always left out my room mates and i basically.
and now, they even throw the hated girl next to our room because one of the girl is soooo popular among us and everyone must listen to her.
it's feel like we always got the bad thing and they always get the good things.
okay fine, we keep our mouth shut.
it's just being dump at the rubbish bin with the defect!
i don't like being treated like that and i will not let somebody treated me like that.
seriously, i will always get the best and i don't want to being treated like throwing in the rubbish bin with the defect!
not to say like i hate the leelee or what, just among us all, we're being treated like that.
if u want me to help you all, i will help you all, but doesn't mean that i'm quiet means i'm easily get bully.
the famous girl think she will be famous among us.. everyone LOVES her.
urgh.
i can't believe my hectic life over here with people like this.
friends are simple is always the best.
no need any famous, rich or popular friends to add in my list.
i can live without them also.
and i don't want to be a toy!
i can't find a new word to describe about it.
i was terrible to live alone with nobody especially my friends.
suddenly i feel my friends are the best although some times they're quite sbt xD
i can't find my own peace of mind over here.
it's really ridiculous.
i don't know what to do or react.
i try to be nice to everyone but not anyone of them appreciate it.
so, it's like wasting my time over here.
besides that...
everyone over here not everyone.
is SOME of us hated one girl called leelee.
makes me think of leelee in school SMART.
she also a bit creepy and scary like the puan lee.
then we chinese have our own gang over here.
but they always left out my room mates and i basically.
and now, they even throw the hated girl next to our room because one of the girl is soooo popular among us and everyone must listen to her.
it's feel like we always got the bad thing and they always get the good things.
okay fine, we keep our mouth shut.
it's just being dump at the rubbish bin with the defect!
i don't like being treated like that and i will not let somebody treated me like that.
seriously, i will always get the best and i don't want to being treated like throwing in the rubbish bin with the defect!
not to say like i hate the leelee or what, just among us all, we're being treated like that.
if u want me to help you all, i will help you all, but doesn't mean that i'm quiet means i'm easily get bully.
the famous girl think she will be famous among us.. everyone LOVES her.
urgh.
i can't believe my hectic life over here with people like this.
friends are simple is always the best.
no need any famous, rich or popular friends to add in my list.
i can live without them also.
and i don't want to be a toy!
Sunday, September 2, 2012
Complication
After coming here, i feel like university life is not easy as ABC.
after meeting new seniors these few days..
realised there's 2 gang of seniors around here..
2 different gang over here..
i'm not a very outgoing person, i don't talk much with strangers
but these is different.
one of the seniors is very down-to-earth and they're good in giving opinions.
quite funny but he's always the loner, ignore by the famous gang of seniors.
another gang of the seniors is the famous gang of the seniors around malaysia community..
they are famous community with very big gang of students..
so basically they're famous.
so these 2 gang of seniors kept on came around to talk to us and try to help us and get our attention.
we met them some at the mall, some at the restaurant that we had dinner or lunch or something else.
they taught us quite a lot of stuff.
but problem the 2 gang are not a good friend thing.
so, now we juniors feel weird to don't know which group to join.
just now had dinner with seniors..
they're quite friendly but quiet.
like my dad told me, try to out shine yourselves so other could know u better and u can gain more friends over here.
but it's about knowing seniors from the school so that they could give you some very important information..
now, it's not a conclusion yet.
we still don't know who is the bad guy or the good guy.
time tells it.
but at the same time, we have to save ourselves for something more important like study!
and also same time, know seniors and group and people we going to know more soon.
hope i don't say something stupid or hurtful so that they would hate me.
silence is golden.
after today dinner conversation between the seniors and friends over here, i have to be extra careful what am i going to say next time!
it's scary over here to talk something not related or make them offended.
pray hard to god.
i know i talk very straight most of the time when i'm at malaysia.
but most is my friend could handle me :P
new place, new environment, new people.
need to learn independent without friends.
somebody give me some guardian in knowing new friends and seniors..
thank god!
after meeting new seniors these few days..
realised there's 2 gang of seniors around here..
2 different gang over here..
i'm not a very outgoing person, i don't talk much with strangers
but these is different.
one of the seniors is very down-to-earth and they're good in giving opinions.
quite funny but he's always the loner, ignore by the famous gang of seniors.
another gang of the seniors is the famous gang of the seniors around malaysia community..
they are famous community with very big gang of students..
so basically they're famous.
so these 2 gang of seniors kept on came around to talk to us and try to help us and get our attention.
we met them some at the mall, some at the restaurant that we had dinner or lunch or something else.
they taught us quite a lot of stuff.
but problem the 2 gang are not a good friend thing.
so, now we juniors feel weird to don't know which group to join.
just now had dinner with seniors..
they're quite friendly but quiet.
like my dad told me, try to out shine yourselves so other could know u better and u can gain more friends over here.
but it's about knowing seniors from the school so that they could give you some very important information..
now, it's not a conclusion yet.
we still don't know who is the bad guy or the good guy.
time tells it.
but at the same time, we have to save ourselves for something more important like study!
and also same time, know seniors and group and people we going to know more soon.
hope i don't say something stupid or hurtful so that they would hate me.
silence is golden.
after today dinner conversation between the seniors and friends over here, i have to be extra careful what am i going to say next time!
it's scary over here to talk something not related or make them offended.
pray hard to god.
i know i talk very straight most of the time when i'm at malaysia.
but most is my friend could handle me :P
new place, new environment, new people.
need to learn independent without friends.
somebody give me some guardian in knowing new friends and seniors..
thank god!
Tuesday, August 28, 2012
Memories
as you all know i've been in Indonesia already..
but all my friends in malaysia starting to get prepare to leave our beautiful hometown kuantan.
kuantan although is not a big city or big town, but for us memories in that time is always the best.
as everyone posted very sad post, it makes me feel sad too.
from primary school, secondary school until high school form 6.
always been a memorable memories but the memories that is most deep is form 6.
although the time we gone through is tough but we'd fun.
at first, i never thought of going form 6 because it's never my choice.
and i really think it's stupid.
really do.
on the first day of school, we're all strangers to each other.
some of them met back their primary school friends and some secondary school.
we don't dare to talk to each other just stick to their own friends from secondary school.
after one week of school orientation, we have been move to our specific class - science and arts class.
some of us have different path ( science and arts )
in the same building blocks, all of us were starting to know each other by moving here and there to different class to know each other.
after that, we even skipped class, make noise.
we even gathered at the same location - 6AK2
is like the main base :D
by that time, we know everyone.
talking to each other and making jokes and some building up stories.
slowly then, he came into my life.
in school, how he asked for my permission.
and how we started until now.
it is a long road.
it was really a memorable memories between us.
we gone through 2 years in SMART kuantan.
after school, we went for the chicken stall near bao shian's house.
on friday, as usual MCD mcvalue lunch at the beach.
sometimes we went to the restaurant to eat colourful noodles.
RM2 SUSHI at sushi king..
and most of all we're snatching for parking at the back of our school.
everyone park at the same place..
and sometimes we went for tea time..
we'd our lunch together.
wearing the uniform walk around the town area driving the car.
haha, it's was funny when think about it.
from the very beginning, new student from pekan and johor into our class..
we're not as close yet, after that, we realised they're actually very talkative
we're isolated.. but we've own fun at our class room.
remember mopping the class floor, decorating our class and paint our class wall !
arrange our table, sleeping in class, listening to mp3 in class, eating in class..
we're like a family.
this is the very first event in SMART i forgotten what event was that - smart niaga i guess?
haha, look at us, youngster.
brand new kids.
we're having fun and that miss soon is extra xD
the next trip would be the SPCA trip.
organized by St John ambulance.
shirley, this is especially for you since u less take picture with me. this will be memorable one after standard 6.
BFF xD
a day at the beach.
well somehow, time really flies.
friends come and goes, who is real who is fake is not important, what's important is the memories between all of us.
the memories stay.
picture capture the fun moment and also capture the sad moment.
but it only can stays at that moment.
everyone also wish to have time travel back to where we are again, but it's over.
we look forward into every single day, accepting new challenges.
meeting new friends in the university.
although it might or might not be the best memories
but enjoying the moment together.
friends have infinity topics to talk about..
that's what true friends are :)
at the same time missing your friend, not to forget about your parents.
looking at them getting more and more grey hairs..
worrying about our future in university..
each of them like us to succeed in the future, and they wanted to be proud of you.
like my dad would tell people that her daughter will be a dentist one day..
although it puts pressure on me, but that what he want to see one day when he gets old.
talking to him every night makes me miss him more..
i can still remember that my mom hugged me before i left, she cried badly and say that you'll be alright, you're a big girl now.
and after she hugged me, i cried.
i miss her so much.
i don't even dare to look at her once more after i leave the door.
i scare i will miss her even more
although she's bit cranky sometimes and loves to nag, but she will always be my mom.
after came here, i miss my mom shouting my name for cleaning up the table and etc.
nagging about shoes, clothes that didn't wash.
she sacrifice when my dad when overseas to work, she alone to raise us up for years until my dad came back.
i might not know how tough she gone through but i bet she is a strong woman.
as for my dad, although he's a stingy, bad-tempered and lots more, and most of the time i hate him.
but after leaving at the airport, he will be my dad forever.
talked to him almost every night to update with him with my life over here.
it will never be enough.
and sometimes he doesn't pay full attention to what i said but yeah as usual dad.
after going into the departure hall, after hugged him for the last time, i just go straight into the hall without looking back.
looking back will make me miss him more.
i cried too, he hugged me and say : don't worry, you'll be back again with us all as a family.
i didn't even said bye to my dad and walked straight into the departure hall.
although is not far from malaysia but i still miss him.
after reaching here, i feel so home sick that i would like to go back home straight away.
i wanted to call him and talked to him but i scare i will cry..
after hold on until night time, i feel like i miss him a lot and i wanted to call him.
finally i borrowed the phone from the guy here and call his number, after he picking up the phone, i cried like mad and didn't even verbalized a single word and just cry..
i told him, dee i want to go back malaysia with you all guys.
he said, jie, you're big girl now, you have to stay strong.. you will somehow leave us one day or we will leave you all one day.. just hang around for few days and you'll be alright..
i said, i can't i miss you all i want to go back home.. i don't want study anymore..
he said, you will always be our daughter, this is your future, u decide for yourselves..
after that, i feel much more calmer and went back to room to get some rest..
so, mee and dee, i promised that i will strong, so i will do as i promised.
i'm getting used to the life over here already..
but still i miss my parents a lot including my annoying sister.
love y'all ! <3 p="p">
but all my friends in malaysia starting to get prepare to leave our beautiful hometown kuantan.
kuantan although is not a big city or big town, but for us memories in that time is always the best.
as everyone posted very sad post, it makes me feel sad too.
from primary school, secondary school until high school form 6.
always been a memorable memories but the memories that is most deep is form 6.
although the time we gone through is tough but we'd fun.
at first, i never thought of going form 6 because it's never my choice.
and i really think it's stupid.
really do.
on the first day of school, we're all strangers to each other.
some of them met back their primary school friends and some secondary school.
we don't dare to talk to each other just stick to their own friends from secondary school.
after one week of school orientation, we have been move to our specific class - science and arts class.
some of us have different path ( science and arts )
in the same building blocks, all of us were starting to know each other by moving here and there to different class to know each other.
after that, we even skipped class, make noise.
we even gathered at the same location - 6AK2
is like the main base :D
by that time, we know everyone.
talking to each other and making jokes and some building up stories.
slowly then, he came into my life.
in school, how he asked for my permission.
and how we started until now.
it is a long road.
it was really a memorable memories between us.
we gone through 2 years in SMART kuantan.
after school, we went for the chicken stall near bao shian's house.
on friday, as usual MCD mcvalue lunch at the beach.
sometimes we went to the restaurant to eat colourful noodles.
RM2 SUSHI at sushi king..
and most of all we're snatching for parking at the back of our school.
everyone park at the same place..
and sometimes we went for tea time..
we'd our lunch together.
wearing the uniform walk around the town area driving the car.
haha, it's was funny when think about it.
from the very beginning, new student from pekan and johor into our class..
we're not as close yet, after that, we realised they're actually very talkative
we're isolated.. but we've own fun at our class room.
remember mopping the class floor, decorating our class and paint our class wall !
arrange our table, sleeping in class, listening to mp3 in class, eating in class..
we're like a family.
this is the very first event in SMART i forgotten what event was that - smart niaga i guess?
haha, look at us, youngster.
brand new kids.
the next trip would be the SPCA trip.
organized by St John ambulance.
BFF xD
a day at the beach.
well somehow, time really flies.
friends come and goes, who is real who is fake is not important, what's important is the memories between all of us.
the memories stay.
picture capture the fun moment and also capture the sad moment.
but it only can stays at that moment.
everyone also wish to have time travel back to where we are again, but it's over.
we look forward into every single day, accepting new challenges.
meeting new friends in the university.
although it might or might not be the best memories
but enjoying the moment together.
friends have infinity topics to talk about..
that's what true friends are :)
at the same time missing your friend, not to forget about your parents.
looking at them getting more and more grey hairs..
worrying about our future in university..
each of them like us to succeed in the future, and they wanted to be proud of you.
like my dad would tell people that her daughter will be a dentist one day..
although it puts pressure on me, but that what he want to see one day when he gets old.
talking to him every night makes me miss him more..
i can still remember that my mom hugged me before i left, she cried badly and say that you'll be alright, you're a big girl now.
and after she hugged me, i cried.
i miss her so much.
i scare i will miss her even more
although she's bit cranky sometimes and loves to nag, but she will always be my mom.
after came here, i miss my mom shouting my name for cleaning up the table and etc.
nagging about shoes, clothes that didn't wash.
she sacrifice when my dad when overseas to work, she alone to raise us up for years until my dad came back.
i might not know how tough she gone through but i bet she is a strong woman.
as for my dad, although he's a stingy, bad-tempered and lots more, and most of the time i hate him.
but after leaving at the airport, he will be my dad forever.
talked to him almost every night to update with him with my life over here.
it will never be enough.
and sometimes he doesn't pay full attention to what i said but yeah as usual dad.
after going into the departure hall, after hugged him for the last time, i just go straight into the hall without looking back.
looking back will make me miss him more.
i cried too, he hugged me and say : don't worry, you'll be back again with us all as a family.
i didn't even said bye to my dad and walked straight into the departure hall.
although is not far from malaysia but i still miss him.
after reaching here, i feel so home sick that i would like to go back home straight away.
i wanted to call him and talked to him but i scare i will cry..
after hold on until night time, i feel like i miss him a lot and i wanted to call him.
finally i borrowed the phone from the guy here and call his number, after he picking up the phone, i cried like mad and didn't even verbalized a single word and just cry..
i told him, dee i want to go back malaysia with you all guys.
he said, jie, you're big girl now, you have to stay strong.. you will somehow leave us one day or we will leave you all one day.. just hang around for few days and you'll be alright..
i said, i can't i miss you all i want to go back home.. i don't want study anymore..
he said, you will always be our daughter, this is your future, u decide for yourselves..
after that, i feel much more calmer and went back to room to get some rest..
i'm getting used to the life over here already..
but still i miss my parents a lot including my annoying sister.
love y'all ! <3 p="p">
Monday, August 27, 2012
explorer 2
haha, okay to be continue
since there has nothing to do here and we're like newbie over here and decided to google what to see here lolol
okay..
i found out there's a farm over here..
crocodile farm lol sound lame right?
but i think that's the nearest place we can go.
so firstly we sat angkut to our destination..
angkut is full with people, fat mostly are.
so it's squeezy.
terrible.
hot and dust everywhere.
so we sat around 10 mins from the place i live.
and to our destination.
the angkut just throw us down somewhere opposite and we need to walk inside.
crossing road over here is dangerous and you're putting your life at risk obviously
car will never stop down and drive as fast as possible.
so we ran our life to the opposite of the road.
and we saw no crocodile farm, so we asked around.
then there's a very rude lady told us to walk inside then you can see it.
omgg! so rude, we're tourists !
while walking towards the place, we talked and try to avoid cars and motorcycle with my new friends over here.
walked around 8 mins walks until reach to the place.
crocodile farm *as if i never see crocodile before*
some mutated crocodile with no tails.
ignore it.
basically the entrance fees is around 6000 rupiah that would be RM 2 only.
so, it's like damn freaking cheap.
and there's crocodile lolol
and beside there's a swamp for crocodile.
it's all dirty and algae.
yuck!
swampy.
and after finish the tour to the farm, decided to like go to the mall to buy something.
i didn't buy anything but my friends bought same stationary.
well, to be honest, everything over here is way much more cheaper than malaysia.
even for stationary.
omg, can't believe it.
i wondering why malaysia tax so high.
*hmm*
after that we're exhausted!
so decided to like get some rest back home.
so just stay home and do nothing after all.
that's is a very mini explorer to the crocodile farm lol
that's all for now.
next post.
since there has nothing to do here and we're like newbie over here and decided to google what to see here lolol
okay..
i found out there's a farm over here..
crocodile farm lol sound lame right?
but i think that's the nearest place we can go.
so firstly we sat angkut to our destination..
angkut is full with people, fat mostly are.
so it's squeezy.
terrible.
hot and dust everywhere.
so we sat around 10 mins from the place i live.
and to our destination.
the angkut just throw us down somewhere opposite and we need to walk inside.
crossing road over here is dangerous and you're putting your life at risk obviously
car will never stop down and drive as fast as possible.
so we ran our life to the opposite of the road.
and we saw no crocodile farm, so we asked around.
then there's a very rude lady told us to walk inside then you can see it.
omgg! so rude, we're tourists !
while walking towards the place, we talked and try to avoid cars and motorcycle with my new friends over here.
walked around 8 mins walks until reach to the place.
crocodile farm *as if i never see crocodile before*
ignore it.
basically the entrance fees is around 6000 rupiah that would be RM 2 only.
so, it's like damn freaking cheap.
and there's crocodile lolol
and beside there's a swamp for crocodile.
it's all dirty and algae.
yuck!
and after finish the tour to the farm, decided to like go to the mall to buy something.
i didn't buy anything but my friends bought same stationary.
well, to be honest, everything over here is way much more cheaper than malaysia.
even for stationary.
omg, can't believe it.
i wondering why malaysia tax so high.
*hmm*
after that we're exhausted!
so decided to like get some rest back home.
so just stay home and do nothing after all.
that's is a very mini explorer to the crocodile farm lol
that's all for now.
next post.
Sunday, August 26, 2012
explorer
came here for 4 days and started to explore around this place.
somehow, still miss my family very much and home sick very badly.
after few days, already get used to it a little bit for stop making me homesick.
so, decided to know more friends and have fun with them around so that i won't be home sick so badly.
but at the same time, i asked my dad to come visit me every month xD
sounds very childish but i miss them
still want them to come here to accompany me although just few days.
what you people know about indonesia - Medan?
Medan located at north sumatera.
the third biggest city in indonesia and of course more people!
and here mostly are indonesian and some of chinese.
chinese over here speak hokkien - regretted didn't learn hokkien from my mom ): sigh.
and indonesian here is not as bad as last time, people are LITTLE BIT more polite compare last time *i guess*
this is my first time encounter this kind of situation in indonesia.
let's talk about the traffic over here first.
people around here doesn't have line to separate fast lane and slow lane.
people drive how ever they wanted to drive.
and as for traffic lights, they never stop for red light or go for green light.
they just go anyhow they want over here and cause a lot of traffic jam over here.
so i never like to get out from the room to go through this kind of mess !
daily transport over here got basically 3.
firstly the cheapest one ever - Angkut
cost only 1000 RUPIAH that would be around 30 sen.
so it's very cheap but of course hot and dirty and very downgraded.
and secondly is beca, beca is much more expensive.
but u need to discuss the price with the driver because some of them will put the price extremely high and it's not worth it.
mostly only cost around RM1 or RM2
by sitting the beca is very hot and dusty because it's open air.
so when he drive around the town, you will inhale carbon monoxide and carbon dioxide and will die faster.
( just saying )
i don't have to explain much how beca looks like since in malacca there's like tons of beca.
but the differences is beca over here is using motor not bicycle.
lastly, taxi.
taxi over here call bluebird.
cost more expensive but with aircon and not polluted air.
it cost around RM 5-6 to anywhere.
so it's okay if u're going somewhere far a bit and you doesn't want to inhale polluted air and die fast, you may pay extra for the bluebird.
as for the airport over here is extremely small and it's called international aiport polonia.
so it's not that interesting so i will just skip this lol
and the airport is located in the centre of the city, different from malaysia that is far away from the town/city.
when airport almost landed, you can see airplane super clear from the view on your car.
food.
food over here basically spicy every single day.
including breakfast also spicy.
i really can't stand the spiciness every single day so decided to buy bread at the nearby shopping mall.
it's quite cheap also, or almost the same price as malaysia but it's much more healthier right?
haven't really explore with the food over here yet.
so by now, i still stick myself with malaysian food - chay kuey tiaw or nasi goreng or bihun goreng.
:D
place over here is very dirty and u can even see like 10 rats dying by the roadside.
or maybe dustbin is full with garbage and nobody bother to keep it or something.
until now, i haven't see any MPK car.
wondering do they even have one? *hmm*
there's begger everywhere here asking you for money.
you just ignore them, some of them are children.
some begger even sit in the middle of the road just show their hand asking for money from the driver car or passenger on the beca.
got it like twice and just ignore it.
and few children selling newspaper, drinks and badminton racket while the traffic light turns red and they just walk in the middle of the road asking people to buy it or something.
haven't encounter this problem yet and i hope i never even need to encounter that.
well, basically that's the basic.
i will talk about it again in the next post.
somehow, still miss my family very much and home sick very badly.
after few days, already get used to it a little bit for stop making me homesick.
so, decided to know more friends and have fun with them around so that i won't be home sick so badly.
but at the same time, i asked my dad to come visit me every month xD
sounds very childish but i miss them
still want them to come here to accompany me although just few days.
what you people know about indonesia - Medan?
Medan located at north sumatera.
the third biggest city in indonesia and of course more people!
and here mostly are indonesian and some of chinese.
chinese over here speak hokkien - regretted didn't learn hokkien from my mom ): sigh.
and indonesian here is not as bad as last time, people are LITTLE BIT more polite compare last time *i guess*
this is my first time encounter this kind of situation in indonesia.
let's talk about the traffic over here first.
people around here doesn't have line to separate fast lane and slow lane.
people drive how ever they wanted to drive.
and as for traffic lights, they never stop for red light or go for green light.
they just go anyhow they want over here and cause a lot of traffic jam over here.
so i never like to get out from the room to go through this kind of mess !
daily transport over here got basically 3.
firstly the cheapest one ever - Angkut
cost only 1000 RUPIAH that would be around 30 sen.
so it's very cheap but of course hot and dirty and very downgraded.
but u need to discuss the price with the driver because some of them will put the price extremely high and it's not worth it.
mostly only cost around RM1 or RM2
by sitting the beca is very hot and dusty because it's open air.
so when he drive around the town, you will inhale carbon monoxide and carbon dioxide and will die faster.
( just saying )
i don't have to explain much how beca looks like since in malacca there's like tons of beca.
but the differences is beca over here is using motor not bicycle.
lastly, taxi.
taxi over here call bluebird.
cost more expensive but with aircon and not polluted air.
it cost around RM 5-6 to anywhere.
so it's okay if u're going somewhere far a bit and you doesn't want to inhale polluted air and die fast, you may pay extra for the bluebird.
as for the airport over here is extremely small and it's called international aiport polonia.
so it's not that interesting so i will just skip this lol
and the airport is located in the centre of the city, different from malaysia that is far away from the town/city.
when airport almost landed, you can see airplane super clear from the view on your car.
food.
food over here basically spicy every single day.
including breakfast also spicy.
i really can't stand the spiciness every single day so decided to buy bread at the nearby shopping mall.
it's quite cheap also, or almost the same price as malaysia but it's much more healthier right?
haven't really explore with the food over here yet.
so by now, i still stick myself with malaysian food - chay kuey tiaw or nasi goreng or bihun goreng.
:D
place over here is very dirty and u can even see like 10 rats dying by the roadside.
or maybe dustbin is full with garbage and nobody bother to keep it or something.
until now, i haven't see any MPK car.
wondering do they even have one? *hmm*
there's begger everywhere here asking you for money.
you just ignore them, some of them are children.
some begger even sit in the middle of the road just show their hand asking for money from the driver car or passenger on the beca.
got it like twice and just ignore it.
and few children selling newspaper, drinks and badminton racket while the traffic light turns red and they just walk in the middle of the road asking people to buy it or something.
haven't encounter this problem yet and i hope i never even need to encounter that.
well, basically that's the basic.
i will talk about it again in the next post.
Thursday, August 23, 2012
stranger land
on the 22nd of august, arrived at the strangers' land of Indonesia.
what can i say about this?
firstly, the first look of indonesia is full of trees and land and it's not a city at all.
it doesn't really getting my attention after all.
flying to here is a very tough decision all time.
and after landing, i couldn't believe that the INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT here is as small as kuantan airport.
it was terrible and old and TERRIBLE.
after taking all the luggage and stuff, walked out from the airport, people speaking bahasa is so tough to understand what they are saying most of the time.
we're sent to a terrible van, it's all dirty and smells.
i couldn't believe it anymore.
the best part of this this is i got a awesome apartment and it's super nearby from the school.
although the apartment is not completely done but it's alright compare to places other that.
*god bless*
got to the apartment and served by few chinese indonesian that speak hokkien.
holy crap, my hokkien sucks like hell man and their chinese is not as good as normal chinese.
so have to speak HOKKIEN in a very broken slang.
on the very first day of arriving here, i start to miss my family so badly.
home sick.
feel like i'm lonely and i've nobody to hold on.
i miss everything in malaysia.
i wish to go back right away.
i even called my dad to let me go back malaysia.
but he said that i must stay strong and get used to it..
but i really can't stand being alone here with myself standing all alone..
i cry every single day.
i don't have appetite to eat at all..
i feel extremely sick about it.
i just want to go back to my parents.
after talking to them on the phone, i really cried and wish that they're here with me all the time.
i really miss them a lot.
and i decided to tell the agent can i go back to malaysia study..
but they said that by going back u will burn all the money that u paid..
but at least i need to study for one more semester only decided whether i'm able to go back or what.
no matter what i'm just home sick..
and went to the city over here, is all very crowded..
and people over here overdressed.
omggggggg.
i hope i can cope and stay here properly...
:(
i miss my mom and dad :(
Sunday, August 5, 2012
离开
一个人的未来 由谁来掌控
是我 也是父母
父母所给的 所给得起
会影响未来的去向
你的未来是光明或黑暗
给了你才知道
你要的不一定得到
想拥有的不一定可以拥有
愿意或不愿意
不是在我掌控了
现在只有去或不去
这是唯一的选择
也是最后的
我要走了
很快就要去实现梦想
虽然不是我想去的
但是我没的选择
再见了
我温暖的家
无忧无虑的生活
在这小小的城市
充满了回忆
朋友
是我 也是父母
父母所给的 所给得起
会影响未来的去向
你的未来是光明或黑暗
给了你才知道
你要的不一定得到
想拥有的不一定可以拥有
愿意或不愿意
不是在我掌控了
现在只有去或不去
这是唯一的选择
也是最后的
我要走了
很快就要去实现梦想
虽然不是我想去的
但是我没的选择
再见了
我温暖的家
无忧无虑的生活
在这小小的城市
充满了回忆
朋友
Monday, July 30, 2012
Friday, July 20, 2012
update for something else.
today is a pre-wedding of my cousin.
at first, she was okay..
as you all some know, SOME.
i hate most of my cousins.
basically i hate all of them because it's not a very good relationship between them.
as i mentioned earlier, she was okay.
but now she's bitchy.
she should give some respect to my mom although you're the one getting married tomorrow.
like who even bother?!
my aunt was asking : is olivia coming?
my cousin reply : yeah, she is coming.
aunt : it thought she never attended any wedding?
cousin : but she attend this because of me.
aunt : okay, it's shocking to hear that she's attending.
i was like oh-mm-gee!
but it's somehow true.
i don't attend cousin's wedding because it's shitty and i don't have anyone to talk to.
and cousin's wedding mostly are full with strangers.
i'm not good with strangers.
strangers is dangerous.
people - my cousins.
i hate you all.
u can disappear in my life and i don't even care about your life.
but be respectful with your elders.
especially my mom.
i will make u worst one day.
i wouldn't even bother to attend any of you'll wedding.
my aunt was scolding me when i didn't attend the last one.
she said : she is your cousin.. your only cousin.. why u don't pay respect by going her wedding?
i said : because i don't feel well.
( but i'm feel just alright )
she said : really? if u don't attend her wedding, don't expect her to attend yours.
i said : i never plan to call her to attend my wedding. i wouldn't even bother to call her to tell her that i'm getting married pfft !
she said : how dare u talk like this?
i said : i'm just telling u what i really feel and i really never plan to have some massive chinese wedding like this shitty have to invite strangers around.
she said : it's your life, just be who u want to be.
i said : yeah, it's my life, i decide for myself.
she walks away..
i don't get why people like to avoid my family.. not like we doing any wrong..
just my mom doesn't acts like a rich woman or rich lady..
or she doesn't socialize much.
people nowadays should respect people.
people are rude, especially my cousin's daughters and sons.
no matters at all.
scolding bad words don't mean that u're rude..
giving a cold shoulder or ignoring when people trying to be nice, it's rude.
learn people.
at first, she was okay..
as you all some know, SOME.
i hate most of my cousins.
basically i hate all of them because it's not a very good relationship between them.
as i mentioned earlier, she was okay.
but now she's bitchy.
she should give some respect to my mom although you're the one getting married tomorrow.
like who even bother?!
my aunt was asking : is olivia coming?
my cousin reply : yeah, she is coming.
aunt : it thought she never attended any wedding?
cousin : but she attend this because of me.
aunt : okay, it's shocking to hear that she's attending.
i was like oh-mm-gee!
but it's somehow true.
i don't attend cousin's wedding because it's shitty and i don't have anyone to talk to.
and cousin's wedding mostly are full with strangers.
i'm not good with strangers.
strangers is dangerous.
people - my cousins.
i hate you all.
u can disappear in my life and i don't even care about your life.
but be respectful with your elders.
especially my mom.
i will make u worst one day.
i wouldn't even bother to attend any of you'll wedding.
my aunt was scolding me when i didn't attend the last one.
she said : she is your cousin.. your only cousin.. why u don't pay respect by going her wedding?
i said : because i don't feel well.
( but i'm feel just alright )
she said : really? if u don't attend her wedding, don't expect her to attend yours.
i said : i never plan to call her to attend my wedding. i wouldn't even bother to call her to tell her that i'm getting married pfft !
she said : how dare u talk like this?
i said : i'm just telling u what i really feel and i really never plan to have some massive chinese wedding like this shitty have to invite strangers around.
she said : it's your life, just be who u want to be.
i said : yeah, it's my life, i decide for myself.
she walks away..
i don't get why people like to avoid my family.. not like we doing any wrong..
just my mom doesn't acts like a rich woman or rich lady..
or she doesn't socialize much.
people nowadays should respect people.
people are rude, especially my cousin's daughters and sons.
no matters at all.
scolding bad words don't mean that u're rude..
giving a cold shoulder or ignoring when people trying to be nice, it's rude.
learn people.
Friday, July 13, 2012
The end of waiting.
13/7/2012 is the day where form sixer of 2011 get to know where are they heading to.
local university result is finally out after a long wait.
some people are satisfied with their result, but some are not satisfied maybe the place or the course that they wanted to take.
everyone called to ask where i got.
but sorry to tell that i don't get even a single local university.
not even sarawak or sabah.
not even a single course offered including music.
so, it really not that dissappointing to me.
just feel like shocked that i don't get even music.
well, fine with me.
i still got my backup plan.
was having dinner with my dad and told him that local university result is out.
and he was like scolding why i can't get a single one.
not even business he asked.
i said i didn't even apply for business.
he said why you don't want apply for business.
i remembered what he told me that, he doesn't want me involve in business.
he wants me to be a professional job.
but sucks to say that i can't.
although i don't know whether can i still continue my dream as a dentist.
but no matter what way that i have to go.
i still will continue until i finish my dentistry course till the end.
i don't know what my dad wants me to do.
i applied for indonesia.
and he wants me to go bandung to study but i can't get the university.
and all i got was medan.
well, i was thinking about going medan as long it something that i wanted so much.
suddenly he asked me to check for australia.
because i have an aunt at there maybe she can sponsor or something?
this haven't really make up any plan.
waiting for her to come back.
and i even told him i wanted to go USA.
he said NO with a great objection because USA is too far.
he doesn't want me to go too far.
but for me, i wanted to go there so much.
it's a very cool place to study and most of all the fees there is much more cheaper compare to australia.
and with many shopping malls xDD
well, he just doesn't want me to leave malaysia too far, he misses me.
well, i really wanted to go US but then..
nevermind then.
last but not least, good luck to people that got their course and place that they desire.
and for those people doesn't like the course or place offered, don't be sad, there's always a way out.
(:
local university result is finally out after a long wait.
some people are satisfied with their result, but some are not satisfied maybe the place or the course that they wanted to take.
everyone called to ask where i got.
but sorry to tell that i don't get even a single local university.
not even sarawak or sabah.
not even a single course offered including music.
so, it really not that dissappointing to me.
just feel like shocked that i don't get even music.
well, fine with me.
i still got my backup plan.
was having dinner with my dad and told him that local university result is out.
and he was like scolding why i can't get a single one.
not even business he asked.
i said i didn't even apply for business.
he said why you don't want apply for business.
i remembered what he told me that, he doesn't want me involve in business.
he wants me to be a professional job.
but sucks to say that i can't.
although i don't know whether can i still continue my dream as a dentist.
but no matter what way that i have to go.
i still will continue until i finish my dentistry course till the end.
i don't know what my dad wants me to do.
i applied for indonesia.
and he wants me to go bandung to study but i can't get the university.
and all i got was medan.
well, i was thinking about going medan as long it something that i wanted so much.
suddenly he asked me to check for australia.
because i have an aunt at there maybe she can sponsor or something?
this haven't really make up any plan.
waiting for her to come back.
and i even told him i wanted to go USA.
he said NO with a great objection because USA is too far.
he doesn't want me to go too far.
but for me, i wanted to go there so much.
it's a very cool place to study and most of all the fees there is much more cheaper compare to australia.
and with many shopping malls xDD
well, he just doesn't want me to leave malaysia too far, he misses me.
well, i really wanted to go US but then..
nevermind then.
last but not least, good luck to people that got their course and place that they desire.
and for those people doesn't like the course or place offered, don't be sad, there's always a way out.
(:
Sunday, July 8, 2012
it has been a long time.
it has been a very long time since blogging?
well, now it's a very good time to blog because i'm rotting at home.
so, decided to blog something else.
working from monday - friday.
it's a okay job i guess.
just looking through like millions of money that i never will get.
sigh, but it was alright..
days getting by day by day..
but i have to make one thing clear.
before this, i asked friends that helped out at tzu chi performance.
but i asked like few.
then some of them said sunday they can't help.. well for me it's fine..
at least can help out on saturday..
then suddenly some said they can't go anymore..
okay, fine.
last minute, some said they don't feel like going.
okay, fine.
so i called my aunt to tell her that they can't go, and she get angry on me.
said why my friend not responsible..
why they don't want help out..
i was like.. i don't know how to say at all.
and at last, my aunt doesn't even want me to help out anymore.
i was like.. helpless.
but there's one thing very clear in my head...
somebody asked : you didn't go help meh? why asked me?
i was like.. okay fine.
seriously, i didn't blame you all.
just forget about it.
feel like make things clear about it.
# education.
seriously, when u gone for the wrong path from the beginning, everything have to start over again.
if my dad would throw me in college, i wouldn't be here hanging in the middle struggling.
but there's no if and no turning back time anymore.
now parents arguing, fed up, scolding..
who to blame?
always me for not studying well..
not getting good result..
but do they know, from the beginning i told them i never wanted to go for form 6 at all.
never ever in my life.
told them like hundreds of times.
but still ignored.
now no turning back, not wasting any time.
have to go on to some foundation course..
and now i realised foundation course is easy.
now nobody can help me at all.
forget about it.
# relationship
not about him.
he and i are prefect together.
nothing wrong xD
relationship means between friends.
hmm, well, it was alright i guess, problem is getting far apart..
no matter they are real close, real just a normal friend, or maybe just a stranger friend.
still getting far apart hmmm.
not as close anymore.
maybe everyone busy working i guess.
forget about it.
# life
life was alright.
planning to have a short trip with friends.
maybe nearby..
going to have a trip with him soon :D
but not so soon..
cousins having wedding soon, and sammi is coming back real soon..
and will bought some great stuff for me.
especially vitamin water.. and some pastel jeans.
oh yeah! ^^v
have to go KL for exam real soon ):
i hate going down alone for exam.
well it's compulsory i guess.
end.
well, now it's a very good time to blog because i'm rotting at home.
so, decided to blog something else.
working from monday - friday.
it's a okay job i guess.
just looking through like millions of money that i never will get.
sigh, but it was alright..
days getting by day by day..
but i have to make one thing clear.
before this, i asked friends that helped out at tzu chi performance.
but i asked like few.
then some of them said sunday they can't help.. well for me it's fine..
at least can help out on saturday..
then suddenly some said they can't go anymore..
okay, fine.
last minute, some said they don't feel like going.
okay, fine.
so i called my aunt to tell her that they can't go, and she get angry on me.
said why my friend not responsible..
why they don't want help out..
i was like.. i don't know how to say at all.
and at last, my aunt doesn't even want me to help out anymore.
i was like.. helpless.
but there's one thing very clear in my head...
somebody asked : you didn't go help meh? why asked me?
i was like.. okay fine.
seriously, i didn't blame you all.
just forget about it.
feel like make things clear about it.
# education.
seriously, when u gone for the wrong path from the beginning, everything have to start over again.
if my dad would throw me in college, i wouldn't be here hanging in the middle struggling.
but there's no if and no turning back time anymore.
now parents arguing, fed up, scolding..
who to blame?
always me for not studying well..
not getting good result..
but do they know, from the beginning i told them i never wanted to go for form 6 at all.
never ever in my life.
told them like hundreds of times.
but still ignored.
now no turning back, not wasting any time.
have to go on to some foundation course..
and now i realised foundation course is easy.
now nobody can help me at all.
forget about it.
# relationship
not about him.
he and i are prefect together.
nothing wrong xD
relationship means between friends.
hmm, well, it was alright i guess, problem is getting far apart..
no matter they are real close, real just a normal friend, or maybe just a stranger friend.
still getting far apart hmmm.
not as close anymore.
maybe everyone busy working i guess.
forget about it.
# life
life was alright.
planning to have a short trip with friends.
maybe nearby..
going to have a trip with him soon :D
but not so soon..
cousins having wedding soon, and sammi is coming back real soon..
and will bought some great stuff for me.
especially vitamin water.. and some pastel jeans.
oh yeah! ^^v
have to go KL for exam real soon ):
i hate going down alone for exam.
well it's compulsory i guess.
end.
Thursday, June 21, 2012
Somebody asked
Somebody asked me a question.
Why u never said hi to your high school school mates?
Why u never close with them?
Why u never talk to them?
Why u never hang out with them?
Why u never...
Always started with this.
Firstly, they never said hi to me. Although I said hi first, they never replied.
They said hi to everyone except me.
So it's obvious that I'm awkward one that standing there being ignore.
Well never feel anything thou, just feel like leaving that place.
Secondly, close with them. I think I'm not till their standard? Or maybe we're in a different frequency.
We don't have any common interest.
Or common topics.
I close with some of them but not most of them.
Some since primary and some since form 1, never even speak like more than 10 sentences.
Just I'm the loner, they're like the popular ones.
Thirdly, talk to them. Very good question. Because they never talk to me before.. Don't say that I should make a move before them.. Tried and not working.
People are not meant to be.
Just some they just hang out with their same standards? Perhaps.
Fourth, hang out?! We don't even talk, how we hang out right?! But well, even thought IF we hang out, basically I will be the loner too. So basically I could just be loner myself rather than hanging out making myself even bored.
People always said that you must speak out & breakthrough to know people not waiting for them to know you.
But what I can said is if you're sincere and really want to be a friend, you won't mind which side start first.
After you know me, you will know the different.
Some people are meant to be more quiet, some are more noisy and talkative and big movement.
Sometimes it's annoying but since I'm not that close with them, that can be ignored.
Never feel sad although they ignore me in public.
Never feel angry.
Because it not something that I precious of.
High school life is never a fun life like what others usually said.
Some maybe are.. But for me, I seriously hate school. Not just the teacher & the memories too.
Especially high school.
People come and go.
I don't really care that it's worth it or not.
I know somebody someday out there..
There's more chances and people I'm meeting soon from around the world.
(:
Why u never said hi to your high school school mates?
Why u never close with them?
Why u never talk to them?
Why u never hang out with them?
Why u never...
Always started with this.
Firstly, they never said hi to me. Although I said hi first, they never replied.
They said hi to everyone except me.
So it's obvious that I'm awkward one that standing there being ignore.
Well never feel anything thou, just feel like leaving that place.
Secondly, close with them. I think I'm not till their standard? Or maybe we're in a different frequency.
We don't have any common interest.
Or common topics.
I close with some of them but not most of them.
Some since primary and some since form 1, never even speak like more than 10 sentences.
Just I'm the loner, they're like the popular ones.
Thirdly, talk to them. Very good question. Because they never talk to me before.. Don't say that I should make a move before them.. Tried and not working.
People are not meant to be.
Just some they just hang out with their same standards? Perhaps.
Fourth, hang out?! We don't even talk, how we hang out right?! But well, even thought IF we hang out, basically I will be the loner too. So basically I could just be loner myself rather than hanging out making myself even bored.
People always said that you must speak out & breakthrough to know people not waiting for them to know you.
But what I can said is if you're sincere and really want to be a friend, you won't mind which side start first.
After you know me, you will know the different.
Some people are meant to be more quiet, some are more noisy and talkative and big movement.
Sometimes it's annoying but since I'm not that close with them, that can be ignored.
Never feel sad although they ignore me in public.
Never feel angry.
Because it not something that I precious of.
High school life is never a fun life like what others usually said.
Some maybe are.. But for me, I seriously hate school. Not just the teacher & the memories too.
Especially high school.
People come and go.
I don't really care that it's worth it or not.
I know somebody someday out there..
There's more chances and people I'm meeting soon from around the world.
(:
Saturday, June 2, 2012
CRUMPLE
Recently, it's not normal with me.
i'm not me anymore.
i can't handle any things that coming into my life anymore.
i really can't hold on.
one by one.
getting closer closer.
approaching a physcologist is the only way i could do right now.
every night before sleeping, thinking about it.
after waking up in the morning, thinking about it.
even dream also won't leave me alone.
why nobody wants to leave me alone?
i just want a peace of mind.
tear dries up.
heart shattered.
crashed dream.
never a new day for me.
after get used to the day he's working..
somehow, i have drown myself.
realizing that i'm just getting back off.
i hate that he work that job.
really and seriously but there's no point for say no to it.
because he done it.
and finished it.
no point of hating it anymore.
slowly day by day, getting used to it.
accepting it with a big heart.
trying to act happy and fake when sending the message.
but it's not what i wanted to say.
behind the cell phone, it's a different side of me.
woman are fake.
and i don't know why i have to fake it.
maybe just to stay at my comfort zone from preventing getting into arguments.
protective much sometimes.
it's fine and alright.
wanted to stop devastating my parents once more.
entrance exam is nearby.
and i don't know why i feel like i don't own this.
i don't own this chance to hold on.
it is my dream?
or what my dad wanted me to be?
or just somehow people think what i should be?
after getting my result, my aunt called.
she asked why i'm like this..
how could i be that bad?
i wanted to tell her, i'm always that bad.
my result dropped and she thinks i could do a lot better than that.
she thinks i can achieve a higher level of result.
no.
i can't.
i know i shouldn't saying negative stuff.
but somehow, it's not my control anymore.
people said dating cause this.
i can say and people should believe it.
NO.
my result don't drop because i start dating.
it's just, it was never my plan or my dream to study form 6 at the first place.
i never wanted to stuck there.
it's all my dad.
what he said, i must listen.
he even told my aunt that i decided and willingly to go form 6.
how could he?
it's never the path i wanted to go.
i know the truth after getting the result.
but it's over.
somehow now, no more turning back.
it's all settled here and ended here.
what can i do more?
my head is blank right now.
i feel like giving up the entrance exam.
and i don't want to go Indonesia.
i know i'm lucky that i can go overseas and fully paid by my parents.
just something, you can't get it, you can't get it.
in the future, maybe what i want, i will get it no matter what.
maybe or maybe not.
lastly, finance.
forget about it.
really wth.
i know what can i do now.
and how much i really worth for.
i will bare it in mind.
Sunday, May 27, 2012
Ami, Freunde, amici, 友達と, 친구
for you and you and you and you and you and you and you and you and you and you.
first is for you.
we've been in a great relationship for quite sometimes..
i know how's your temper goes.
you will think i'm stupid sometimes.
or maybe talk rubbish sometimes.
but okay fine.
i get it.
and WHEN I SAID HER NOSE NOT NICE AT ALL, i meant it.
and YES, her nose annoys me, SO WHAT THE FUCKING PROBLEM YOU'RE SAYING?!
i know i shouldn't say that to you.
but yeah, I HATE IT sometimes when u said that.
BORROWING books from you is something i would do to just get to know something through the books !
sorry for borrowing from you, maybe i should get it from others because all i want from the book is SOMETHING not EVERYTHING.
secondly is for you.
although we've been in a great relationship for quite sometimes.
but i don't know whether is my problem or your problem that seems like there's a barrier between it.
maybe family problem causing u to be like this?
i won't be saying anything about it.
sometimes, i feel like you're selfish.
it's your life, you had chosen to be like this.
but somehow sometimes i feel like it's very funny..
we've a very different mind.
thirdly is for you.
we're good friends, not best friend.
it's like higher than a good friend, lower than a best friend.
but have fun talking to you.
you're alright i guess but maybe just that we're not connecting to the same wire.
but somehow, it's happy to know you.
forth is for you.
we're very good friends.
or i should said best friends for some moment.
but after that moment.
we still are but just something i don't know how to explain to tell it.
but you're alright too :)
different places at the different time..
sometimes we're not that close anymore.
but still appreciate.
and i know sometimes you would never let me know anything or tell any secret to me.
i know it.
and i won't try to act that i'm jealous or something.
because who just want to protect what u worried. your problems.
fifth is for you.
you're pretty in some ways.
you're fun.
you're great.
but just i don't know what to say.
you're not the 100% perfection friend.
but you would listen to what i complained about SOMETIMES.
but as time goes by, we just chat normally.
like a normal friend.
sixth is for you.
congratulation to you.
(:
you found something that is important to you.
and i bet u're having fun with it?
hehehe :D
you've become a new person.
a new person that you're hiding it from everyone.
you've changed.
i don't know is a good way or a bad way.
because you've grown.
grown mature.
not naive anymore i guess.
you've been doing something that u think is good for you.
sometimes that protects you from pain, dissapointment, and even sorrow and angers.
if you're happy this way.
u should be staying this way..
what's more important to you..
seventh is for you.
you're a great friends.
no temper.
just great.
but maybe there's something i couldn't find in you.
or something that you never showed?
well that's all right for me..
as long you're comfortable in your comfort zone.
we spend a great time together too. :)
last is for you.
u're not a good friend at all.
seriously..
no matter since small till now, you never a good friend and maintain a good friendship.
i know that you just trying to grab attention and you hope that somebody or someone would have equal treating.
but somehow, u trying to tell yourselves that.
miracle will happen but actually it won't.
and u still waiting for it and u still continue to do the same old thing over and over again.
how silly of u.
somehow, u don't have a constant friendship with somebody.
but still you can always finds somebody in the future.
maybe you should stick to me.
i will always be here for you no matter what.
and seeing is believing.
i believe what i saw.
don't be sad.
it's just emotional problem of you.
should be happy.
everything comes and goes.
although u're not the best, but you are good enough for being who you are.
:)
first is for you.
we've been in a great relationship for quite sometimes..
i know how's your temper goes.
you will think i'm stupid sometimes.
or maybe talk rubbish sometimes.
but okay fine.
i get it.
and WHEN I SAID HER NOSE NOT NICE AT ALL, i meant it.
and YES, her nose annoys me, SO WHAT THE FUCKING PROBLEM YOU'RE SAYING?!
i know i shouldn't say that to you.
but yeah, I HATE IT sometimes when u said that.
BORROWING books from you is something i would do to just get to know something through the books !
sorry for borrowing from you, maybe i should get it from others because all i want from the book is SOMETHING not EVERYTHING.
secondly is for you.
although we've been in a great relationship for quite sometimes.
but i don't know whether is my problem or your problem that seems like there's a barrier between it.
maybe family problem causing u to be like this?
i won't be saying anything about it.
sometimes, i feel like you're selfish.
it's your life, you had chosen to be like this.
but somehow sometimes i feel like it's very funny..
we've a very different mind.
thirdly is for you.
we're good friends, not best friend.
it's like higher than a good friend, lower than a best friend.
but have fun talking to you.
you're alright i guess but maybe just that we're not connecting to the same wire.
but somehow, it's happy to know you.
forth is for you.
we're very good friends.
or i should said best friends for some moment.
but after that moment.
we still are but just something i don't know how to explain to tell it.
but you're alright too :)
different places at the different time..
sometimes we're not that close anymore.
but still appreciate.
and i know sometimes you would never let me know anything or tell any secret to me.
i know it.
and i won't try to act that i'm jealous or something.
because who just want to protect what u worried. your problems.
fifth is for you.
you're pretty in some ways.
you're fun.
you're great.
but just i don't know what to say.
you're not the 100% perfection friend.
but you would listen to what i complained about SOMETIMES.
but as time goes by, we just chat normally.
like a normal friend.
sixth is for you.
congratulation to you.
(:
you found something that is important to you.
and i bet u're having fun with it?
hehehe :D
you've become a new person.
a new person that you're hiding it from everyone.
you've changed.
i don't know is a good way or a bad way.
because you've grown.
grown mature.
not naive anymore i guess.
you've been doing something that u think is good for you.
sometimes that protects you from pain, dissapointment, and even sorrow and angers.
if you're happy this way.
u should be staying this way..
what's more important to you..
seventh is for you.
you're a great friends.
no temper.
just great.
but maybe there's something i couldn't find in you.
or something that you never showed?
well that's all right for me..
as long you're comfortable in your comfort zone.
we spend a great time together too. :)
last is for you.
u're not a good friend at all.
seriously..
no matter since small till now, you never a good friend and maintain a good friendship.
i know that you just trying to grab attention and you hope that somebody or someone would have equal treating.
but somehow, u trying to tell yourselves that.
miracle will happen but actually it won't.
and u still waiting for it and u still continue to do the same old thing over and over again.
how silly of u.
somehow, u don't have a constant friendship with somebody.
but still you can always finds somebody in the future.
maybe you should stick to me.
i will always be here for you no matter what.
and seeing is believing.
i believe what i saw.
don't be sad.
it's just emotional problem of you.
should be happy.
everything comes and goes.
although u're not the best, but you are good enough for being who you are.
:)
Saturday, May 26, 2012
understood
Anyone who has a continuous smile on his face conceals a toughness that is almost frightening.
Masks beneath masks until suddenly the bare bloodless skull.
There is a face beneath this mask, but it isn't me. I'm no more that face than I am the muscles beneath it, or the bones beneath that.
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Masks beneath masks until suddenly the bare bloodless skull.
There is a face beneath this mask, but it isn't me. I'm no more that face than I am the muscles beneath it, or the bones beneath that.
what are u with a mask?
who are u without a mask?
society is like a dark world, mid night.
try to search mask in middle of the night in google.
look at the mask one by one.
fear.
because mask made up of different thousand types of faces.
but at the same time, you trying to hide the fear.
hope there's nobody will know.
hope there's secret you trying to hide from.
hiding behind a mask you're wearing everyday.
take if off.
who are u?
sometimes not you and me.
is everyone.
wearing a mask in their daily life.
laughter & sorrow.
who will know?
we'll never know.
nobody can tell.
only you.
yourselves.
Sunday, May 20, 2012
home sweet home
for the past few days, i was at college at PJ listening to some lecturer coaching class.
it was so boring, i would faint.
somehow feel like school life is much more better than college life.
people in college are most probably rich people and speaking pure english.
and the lecturer speak like bullet train.
people can leave however they want in class, not attending classes, listening to ipod in class, playing games in class..
yeah, its totally different kind of lifestyle.
most of all, thing around there is super expensive.
especially food.
just a small fried rice with few vegetables cost RM 6.
it's killing.
and some even late for class and teaching didn't even say a thing.
basically teacher won't even bother to care.
on saturday class, it was math class.
omggg, math is the most boring class ever.
the lecturer is from arab, and speak arabian slang.
it's hard to catch up.
but most of the math had learn during f6 so i know the basics.
she doesn't even know a single word of BM.
how ever, in the class..
met few girls and boys..
some from malacca, penang and ipoh..
there's a boy looks like jia wang A LOT.
they're like twins.
he sleeps like him, talks like him and even looks almost like him.
i don't know his name actually.. i know his surname is ONG.
and i feel super bad for snatching his seat on the second day.
sorry jiawang :(
there's few cute guys in the class too.
and one guys with white hair xD
makes me think of keehan.
but he got pointer 3.8 in STPM.
no wonder his hair turns white.
xDDD
leaving house and staying outside is something very different.
i miss my home when i'm there.
food, TV, unlimited supply of wifi internet, car.
but have to get used to it soon.
2nd day :
it was chemistry.
oh god damn, the lecturer is an indian.
and his chest hair is abundant, so annoying.
and he's addicted explaining chemistry.
talked about boyle's law etc etc etc and suddenly change the topics to physics.
OH NO.
it was extremely BORING.
i should stop talking about him.
so i decided to skip the class and called my cousin to fetch me to sunway pyramid !
wahahaha :D
he came and yeah, sunway and skipped the boring chemistry class.
it's kinda hard to find parking at sunway especially on sunday.
but we managed to find.
we chat and talk about his trip to JAPAN & he went there for 3 weeks.
i hate him so much.
and he bought nothing for me.
how pathetic -.-
but at least he treat me sushi.
* he better be *
there's some funny stuff happened.
we walked into the sushi restaurant,
the waiter asked : are you both couple? we having this promotion that couple could get a couple key chain some freaking stuff.
i was like WTH, DO WE LOOK LIKE COUPLE TO YOU?!
# FYI : my cousin almost 40 years old.
i said : NO *annoyed*
she said : okay it's okay, you still can get a couple key chain when u eat RM 100 above.
i said : okayyyy.. *annoyed*
walked into the restaurant..
my cousin told me : hey, u eat more okay?
i was like weird, i asked him back : why?????
he said : so we can get the key chain..
i said : omg, u seriously gonna get the couple key chain? i'm not going to use couple key chain with u okay?
he said : aiya, both i take lorh.
i said : omg how not gentleman are u.
he said : why?
i said : you should give me both so i could give it to my boyfriend and he will be couple with me.
he said : pfft, i'm paying for this lunch.
i said : SINCE you're paying, then nevermind then. you could take the key chain xDDD
2nd funny stuff happened.
i walked into a boutique shop at sunway and trying to look for dress.
before walking in..
i told my cousin : u want wait me outside or inside?
he said : follow you in la.
i said : omgggg, my old cousin is following me to look for dresses.
he said : cannot meh?
i said : can can can *annoyed* you know what is FASHION?
he said : i don't know..
i said : what for u following me?!
he said : i can take a look mar, update my fashion sense.
#FYI : he wear like ah pek that day.
i said : okay okay okay.. u just look the clothes then.
so i walked in.. picking up few clothes and the shopkeeper came..
and my cousin was standing behind me..
so i asked : this dress nice anot?
he said : this ah... okay lorhhhhh..
i said : serious!
he said : quite pretty lorh, on you i don't know pretty anot.
i give him this annoyed look again !
and the shopkeeper saying something..
shopkeeper said : you should try this on, your boyfriend can give u some comments or opinion.. he thinks will be pretty on you.
i was like WTH again.
i said : he's not my boyfriend * annoyed *
shopkeeper said : oh, it he your father?
i said : NO.
shopkeeper said : oh, do u want to try this?
i said : do you have size 2? i can't fit size 6.
shopkeeper said : no, sorry, we don't have.
i said : okay then...
dissapointing walked away.
when i got out the shop, my cousin sitting at the bench there playing his phone.
i walked near him.
i said : seriously, izzit every guy so boring sitting at the bench looking at the phone?
he said : i got important thing to do mar, not like you, do nothing and shopping only.
i give him the ANNOYED look again.
he said : you finish shopping already? the clothes not suit you meh?
i said : suit is suit, but no size.
he burst into laughter.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
my looks : -.-
i said : what so funny?!
he said : you also have no size de meh?
i said : -.- cannot de meh? too thin mar.
he said : hahaha then eat more lorh, your boyfriend didn't feed you meh?
i said : he no time feed me.. you also thin like batang lorh, you buy clothes got size meh?
he said : guys different mar, wear bigger size maybe looks a bit bigger.
i said : -.- you sure?
he said : yes lar.
i said : okay okay okay, you win.
3rd funny stuff.
i asked : what u do at home just now?
he said : lap lantai lar.
LMAO
i said : lap lantai? hahahahaha can't believe u know how to lap lantai!
he said : no maid mar, have to lap myself. 3 weeks didn't lap lantai.
i said : 3 weeks?! what you do at home 3 weeks didn't lap lantai? dead?
he said : i went japan mar, u last minute call me, i just throw the lap on the floor and come out to fetch you. i have't lap finish..
i said : hahahahaha so sad.
he said : still laugh. if not because of u, i already lap finish my lantai already..
i said : don't like that, we're cousin mar.. should take care of me.
he said : pfft, you so old already should take care of yourselves.. you know how to lap lantai?
i said : no lar, but i plan already, when u got old, or got fired by people, no job, u can come my house lap lantai !
he said : terrible lar you, what cousin are you?
hahahahahahaha :D
basically it was weird to go out with my cousin.
but he's nice (:
basically that's all i guess.
(:
it was so boring, i would faint.
somehow feel like school life is much more better than college life.
people in college are most probably rich people and speaking pure english.
and the lecturer speak like bullet train.
people can leave however they want in class, not attending classes, listening to ipod in class, playing games in class..
yeah, its totally different kind of lifestyle.
most of all, thing around there is super expensive.
especially food.
just a small fried rice with few vegetables cost RM 6.
it's killing.
and some even late for class and teaching didn't even say a thing.
basically teacher won't even bother to care.
on saturday class, it was math class.
omggg, math is the most boring class ever.
the lecturer is from arab, and speak arabian slang.
it's hard to catch up.
but most of the math had learn during f6 so i know the basics.
she doesn't even know a single word of BM.
how ever, in the class..
met few girls and boys..
some from malacca, penang and ipoh..
there's a boy looks like jia wang A LOT.
they're like twins.
he sleeps like him, talks like him and even looks almost like him.
i don't know his name actually.. i know his surname is ONG.
and i feel super bad for snatching his seat on the second day.
sorry jiawang :(
there's few cute guys in the class too.
and one guys with white hair xD
makes me think of keehan.
but he got pointer 3.8 in STPM.
no wonder his hair turns white.
xDDD
leaving house and staying outside is something very different.
i miss my home when i'm there.
food, TV, unlimited supply of wifi internet, car.
but have to get used to it soon.
2nd day :
it was chemistry.
oh god damn, the lecturer is an indian.
and his chest hair is abundant, so annoying.
and he's addicted explaining chemistry.
talked about boyle's law etc etc etc and suddenly change the topics to physics.
OH NO.
it was extremely BORING.
i should stop talking about him.
so i decided to skip the class and called my cousin to fetch me to sunway pyramid !
wahahaha :D
he came and yeah, sunway and skipped the boring chemistry class.
it's kinda hard to find parking at sunway especially on sunday.
but we managed to find.
we chat and talk about his trip to JAPAN & he went there for 3 weeks.
i hate him so much.
and he bought nothing for me.
how pathetic -.-
but at least he treat me sushi.
* he better be *
there's some funny stuff happened.
we walked into the sushi restaurant,
the waiter asked : are you both couple? we having this promotion that couple could get a couple key chain some freaking stuff.
i was like WTH, DO WE LOOK LIKE COUPLE TO YOU?!
# FYI : my cousin almost 40 years old.
i said : NO *annoyed*
she said : okay it's okay, you still can get a couple key chain when u eat RM 100 above.
i said : okayyyy.. *annoyed*
walked into the restaurant..
my cousin told me : hey, u eat more okay?
i was like weird, i asked him back : why?????
he said : so we can get the key chain..
i said : omg, u seriously gonna get the couple key chain? i'm not going to use couple key chain with u okay?
he said : aiya, both i take lorh.
i said : omg how not gentleman are u.
he said : why?
i said : you should give me both so i could give it to my boyfriend and he will be couple with me.
he said : pfft, i'm paying for this lunch.
i said : SINCE you're paying, then nevermind then. you could take the key chain xDDD
2nd funny stuff happened.
i walked into a boutique shop at sunway and trying to look for dress.
before walking in..
i told my cousin : u want wait me outside or inside?
he said : follow you in la.
i said : omgggg, my old cousin is following me to look for dresses.
he said : cannot meh?
i said : can can can *annoyed* you know what is FASHION?
he said : i don't know..
i said : what for u following me?!
he said : i can take a look mar, update my fashion sense.
#FYI : he wear like ah pek that day.
i said : okay okay okay.. u just look the clothes then.
so i walked in.. picking up few clothes and the shopkeeper came..
and my cousin was standing behind me..
so i asked : this dress nice anot?
he said : this ah... okay lorhhhhh..
i said : serious!
he said : quite pretty lorh, on you i don't know pretty anot.
i give him this annoyed look again !
and the shopkeeper saying something..
shopkeeper said : you should try this on, your boyfriend can give u some comments or opinion.. he thinks will be pretty on you.
i was like WTH again.
i said : he's not my boyfriend * annoyed *
shopkeeper said : oh, it he your father?
i said : NO.
shopkeeper said : oh, do u want to try this?
i said : do you have size 2? i can't fit size 6.
shopkeeper said : no, sorry, we don't have.
i said : okay then...
dissapointing walked away.
when i got out the shop, my cousin sitting at the bench there playing his phone.
i walked near him.
i said : seriously, izzit every guy so boring sitting at the bench looking at the phone?
he said : i got important thing to do mar, not like you, do nothing and shopping only.
i give him the ANNOYED look again.
he said : you finish shopping already? the clothes not suit you meh?
i said : suit is suit, but no size.
he burst into laughter.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
my looks : -.-
i said : what so funny?!
he said : you also have no size de meh?
i said : -.- cannot de meh? too thin mar.
he said : hahaha then eat more lorh, your boyfriend didn't feed you meh?
i said : he no time feed me.. you also thin like batang lorh, you buy clothes got size meh?
he said : guys different mar, wear bigger size maybe looks a bit bigger.
i said : -.- you sure?
he said : yes lar.
i said : okay okay okay, you win.
3rd funny stuff.
i asked : what u do at home just now?
he said : lap lantai lar.
LMAO
i said : lap lantai? hahahahaha can't believe u know how to lap lantai!
he said : no maid mar, have to lap myself. 3 weeks didn't lap lantai.
i said : 3 weeks?! what you do at home 3 weeks didn't lap lantai? dead?
he said : i went japan mar, u last minute call me, i just throw the lap on the floor and come out to fetch you. i have't lap finish..
i said : hahahahaha so sad.
he said : still laugh. if not because of u, i already lap finish my lantai already..
i said : don't like that, we're cousin mar.. should take care of me.
he said : pfft, you so old already should take care of yourselves.. you know how to lap lantai?
i said : no lar, but i plan already, when u got old, or got fired by people, no job, u can come my house lap lantai !
he said : terrible lar you, what cousin are you?
hahahahahahaha :D
basically it was weird to go out with my cousin.
but he's nice (:
basically that's all i guess.
(:
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
Redang Trip.
back from the summerland.
summerland was okay i guess.
it rains at night ! that's sucks.
would just stay in the room and having some chit chat..
FROM KUANTAN - KUALA TERENGGANU
bus start at 1.30am in the morning..
the bus was super super bumpy i could say.
it was terrible ride.
feel vomiting and dizziness.
reach KT around 530am.
and we sat down and put down our luggage.
and baoshian, pikkuan, shirley, cs and i decided to take a walk to the nearest 7-eleven to have cup noodles for breakfast.
sound pathetic.
but that is the best we could get in the early morning.
until 620am i called the logistic details and the guy name - Mr Tan.
and most of them call him Uncle Tan ( known him for years, as if )
and there's a van bought us from KT to the Merang Jetty.
30 mins ride, fast and furious.
and reached there around 7-715am.
they sat down the nearby malay stall to eat nasi lemak.
the nasi lemak cost RM 5.
that's the main point xDD
and our boat started at 830am so we waited at the malay stall until the boat left.
FROM MERANG JETTY - REDANG ISLAND.
we sat a small speed boat.
it was very very scary and i feel super dizzy at first.
and vomit in the beginning.
but after awhile, it was alright and having fun of the small speed boat ride.
water splashing inside the boat and some faces and hands.
the water is super salty that when you taste your lips, like eating bare salt.
pictures :
the sunrise in the morning with the sea (:
the boat front view
keehan - like a boss ( steady )
seeyong - also steady.
in the boat only fits like 14 people.
the waves speed, it was fast (:
pretty sunrise (:
REACHED REDANG ISLAND.
we finally reached there around 45 mins boat ride.
stopped at the nearby mini jetty.
and we just walked down and there's a some truck fetched us to our hotel.
so we don't have to walk, such lazy-ass.
pictures :
get checked in and i can't believe my aunt gave me a semi-D rooms.
i thought she would gave me a normal standard room.
happy with those rooms.
pictures :
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this is the room basically we're living in.
satisfied about it.
IN THE AFTERNOON :
we went for snorkeling at somewhere in the middle of the ocean.
before leaving everyone applying sunblock..
to prevent any sunburn or skin peeling off.
and our journey start.
OH YEAH, forgotten about one more thing.
we rent the snorkeling set for RM 30 for 2 days.
we must take good care of the snorkeling trip to prevent any lost of the snorkeling set ( google, life jacket etc )
everyone started putting on their googles, life jacket.
pictures :
his new nick name : Snorkeling Tan.
and our journey STARTED.
boat ride, during the boat ride, we met a HONG KONGese couple with a guy.
they're from HK and they are police in HK.
and they guy is a weirdo should i said?
reached the middle ocean.
snorkeling.
prepare for snorkeling.
not much corals and fishes.
mostly dark fishes i guess.
not much fishes to see.
and our googles kept on filled with water.
salty water to be specific.
pictures :
the snorkeling couple <3
after snorkeling, we head back to hotel and take our tea break.
after that, we went back to our hotel room, take our bath and of course dinner time !
at night, started to rain and we stayed in the room chit chatting till night long (:
DAY 2 :
woke up in the morning, too bad it's raining.
there's so many funny stuff happened.
but that's not the main point yet.
woke up and have our breakfast..
we went for another snorkeling trip to the Marine Park Conservation.
and there's like a small rain but we still went.
we hang out at the beach there and there's lots of dead coral in the sea.
stepping it would hurts your legs.
and we brought some bread and throw into the ocean..
fishes were fighting for the bread.
pretty fishes..
we hang out there for an hour then we going back later on.
when we got back, all of us exhausted and decided to skip the next snorkeling trip in the afternoon.
we took our bath and eat lunch (:
after lunch, NAP !
:D how pathetic of us to have a nap on a vacation.
but we really is exhausted.
at 4pm, woke up for tea break.
after tea break, we went for a walk to laguna resort.
and as your all know there's a famous HK movie taken there before, more more tea inn.
pictures :
for evening stroll.
pictures :
4 forever alone guy.
kinda funny looking at it.
at night, we just stay in the room and gamble.
and new nickname for keehan - Gamble Yung.
well, basically just lay back.
DAY 3 :
well, basically just finish breakfast at 830am.
we leaving Redang.
and time to say goodbye ! :D
good trip.
summerland was okay i guess.
it rains at night ! that's sucks.
would just stay in the room and having some chit chat..
FROM KUANTAN - KUALA TERENGGANU
bus start at 1.30am in the morning..
the bus was super super bumpy i could say.
it was terrible ride.
feel vomiting and dizziness.
reach KT around 530am.
and we sat down and put down our luggage.
and baoshian, pikkuan, shirley, cs and i decided to take a walk to the nearest 7-eleven to have cup noodles for breakfast.
sound pathetic.
but that is the best we could get in the early morning.
until 620am i called the logistic details and the guy name - Mr Tan.
and most of them call him Uncle Tan ( known him for years, as if )
and there's a van bought us from KT to the Merang Jetty.
30 mins ride, fast and furious.
and reached there around 7-715am.
they sat down the nearby malay stall to eat nasi lemak.
the nasi lemak cost RM 5.
that's the main point xDD
and our boat started at 830am so we waited at the malay stall until the boat left.
FROM MERANG JETTY - REDANG ISLAND.
we sat a small speed boat.
it was very very scary and i feel super dizzy at first.
and vomit in the beginning.
but after awhile, it was alright and having fun of the small speed boat ride.
water splashing inside the boat and some faces and hands.
the water is super salty that when you taste your lips, like eating bare salt.
pictures :
REACHED REDANG ISLAND.
we finally reached there around 45 mins boat ride.
stopped at the nearby mini jetty.
and we just walked down and there's a some truck fetched us to our hotel.
so we don't have to walk, such lazy-ass.
pictures :
i thought she would gave me a normal standard room.
happy with those rooms.
pictures :
this is the room basically we're living in.
satisfied about it.
IN THE AFTERNOON :
we went for snorkeling at somewhere in the middle of the ocean.
before leaving everyone applying sunblock..
to prevent any sunburn or skin peeling off.
and our journey start.
OH YEAH, forgotten about one more thing.
we rent the snorkeling set for RM 30 for 2 days.
we must take good care of the snorkeling trip to prevent any lost of the snorkeling set ( google, life jacket etc )
everyone started putting on their googles, life jacket.
pictures :
and our journey STARTED.
boat ride, during the boat ride, we met a HONG KONGese couple with a guy.
they're from HK and they are police in HK.
and they guy is a weirdo should i said?
reached the middle ocean.
snorkeling.
prepare for snorkeling.
not much corals and fishes.
mostly dark fishes i guess.
not much fishes to see.
and our googles kept on filled with water.
salty water to be specific.
pictures :
after that, we went back to our hotel room, take our bath and of course dinner time !
at night, started to rain and we stayed in the room chit chatting till night long (:
DAY 2 :
woke up in the morning, too bad it's raining.
there's so many funny stuff happened.
but that's not the main point yet.
woke up and have our breakfast..
we went for another snorkeling trip to the Marine Park Conservation.
and there's like a small rain but we still went.
we hang out at the beach there and there's lots of dead coral in the sea.
stepping it would hurts your legs.
and we brought some bread and throw into the ocean..
fishes were fighting for the bread.
pretty fishes..
we hang out there for an hour then we going back later on.
when we got back, all of us exhausted and decided to skip the next snorkeling trip in the afternoon.
we took our bath and eat lunch (:
after lunch, NAP !
:D how pathetic of us to have a nap on a vacation.
but we really is exhausted.
at 4pm, woke up for tea break.
after tea break, we went for a walk to laguna resort.
and as your all know there's a famous HK movie taken there before, more more tea inn.
pictures :
pictures :
kinda funny looking at it.
at night, we just stay in the room and gamble.
and new nickname for keehan - Gamble Yung.
well, basically just lay back.
DAY 3 :
well, basically just finish breakfast at 830am.
we leaving Redang.
and time to say goodbye ! :D
good trip.
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