unknown thoughts

these few days, start my work.
it was okay on the first day because i'm new.
but on the second day, omggg !
i can't believe my back very tired and eyes almost blind.
there's 5 banks cheque i need to type in !
and most of all, there is so many zeroooooooos.
cheque with big amount and bank account number is long and zeros.
my eyes curling up after awhile.
but the people there are great, funny.
and they speak Cantonese.

as you all know my cantonese suck like shit.
so i just kept quiet.
and most of all, why they asked me : why don't want talk? later u faint i also don't know leh.
i said : emmm because i don't really know how to speak cantonese.
they said : HUH you banana ah?
i said : no no no, just don't know speak cantonese.
they said : your parents didn't teach you speak?
i said : emm, my parents english educated.
they said : oh ! u come here, we all can teach you.
i said : oh okay....
awkward moment ever.
and i sat at there way side table which can't be seen xD
that's a good thing !

well, back to the topic : unknown thoughts.
well, some thoughts that bothering me much.
some stuff, some scene, some feelings..
it is i'm thinking too much?
or i'm just being who am i at the past?

thought that i can't be told, can't be spoken, can't be express.
what should i do?
i also cannot give my own solution.
like maths.
looking at the question, and give the expression HUH?!
should i know this or should i don't know this?
i might know it but it never pop out in my mind.
i might don't know it because it never appear before.

it's the same like my thoughts.
been bugging me for months.
over thinking is bad.
but i can't held thinking about it.
i might know it before - past tense.
i might don't know it now - present tense.
i will know it / don't know it soon - future tense.
should i search for the answer?
answer must be answered or might not be answered.
well, some people some situation haven't been secured yet.

searching for the answer is very tough.
because might end up broken in pieces.
or end up finding the broken pieces.
broken pieces must be mend but would it mend back to normal as original?
but somehow, we will lose something and gain something in this bad situation.
just see whether i want gain or lose something in the future.
but i know that i maintain it now.
now, always the best.

kept your words.
hold on your dream.
kept your promises.
wish stuff that done it my way.
i think i would be better alone.
wouldn't think that other way is the best for my thoughts.
because NOTHING CAN CHANGE anymore.