Unspoken.

Result is finally reveal.
It was okay from the beginning.
Heard bao Shian said I passed my chemistry with a C.
And I really think is a big achievement because I never pass my chemistry before.

But the slowly, saw datin genga.
She walked by and I saw my result.
C+ was okay to me because I usually don't pass my biology lots of time.

Then PA, whole class passed.
I'm happy about it.
3 passes !
And last but not least, maths.

I don't dare to see maths because I heard quite a lot of people fail.
So decided don't ask first.
Maybe I got a pass or something.

But when teacher distributed our result..
I saw a F at the mathematics T column.
I was like hang for awhile.
I don't know what to respond.
All I could is hold on the news.

I couldn't believe my eyes.
I never got a fail in my life in such an important exam.
But then..
I still go on with it.
Thinking how to tell my dad about it.

SMS or call him?
Struggled.
At last, before I went home.
I texted him.
He said my result is not a result at all.
I felt hurt for a moment.
Hold back and clear my brain.
Thinking what to reply him.

But I just feel like replying everything in my brain.
So I decided replied everything.
Said whatever I feel like saying..
Do whatever I feel like doing...

Just wrote whatever I feel.
For me, just feel that dad never proud of me.
I never have good result.
Compare to my sister, she's clever than me.
Got full A's in UPSR and PMR.

I still think that she would get full A for SPM too.
Well, compare to me as a big sister, I feel a bit down.
Relatives, cousins are happy with her result compare to mine.
People with good result, never understand this feeling.
Dating is not causing this result.
I told myself : I tried my best.
All I could say now.
I really tried my best and this is the result I got.

Dad just pulls me down.
All my confident is down.
But then, I still wanted to persue my dream as a dentist.
Form 6 is over.
I could say is I finish my foundation.
Now let's headed to degree.

Forget about the past.
And start to find some private UNI to get a new life.
Like my dad said in the last message : it's not end of the world, start to think the next step/ courses going to be.