Inner emotion

Since yesterday I was walking to my room mate about family problem.
It's not really family problem, just attitude between relatives and friends around them.
As for her, her relatives look down at her family because non of them are studying overseas.
In people's mind, if you studying overseas, it's like more likely to be smarter or can earn more.
People should really get off this fickle mind of them.
It gets annoyed.

Studying anywhere in the world is the same.
Just depends on you how to gonna face it with an open heart or what.
Coming to Indonesia study is not a bad thing.
Although is not a very developing country in the world, but at least they have their own teaching method that are different from others.
Before coming over here, getting bad feedback from relatives etc.
I'm so over it already but somehow cousins are still blinded with all the bullshit.
It's not really a joke anymore but still he still joking about it for no reason.

Ok, fine.
I'm so over it.
As I'm going back Malaysia in few more days, I'm excited but at the same time, have to prepare myself infront of relatives encounter some difficulty and stages of humiliation or some shit.
As times goes by, it doesn't matter anymore because there is no turning back.
Have to mentally and physically prepare myself to be smart when I got home.
I still don't get why life have to be so complicated! *scratch head*

Not everyone go Australia, England or USA will success in life.
There's cases that they failed.
So, conclusion no matter government school or private school or overseas, everywhere is the same.
You can treat it as good and bad in anyone of them.
Sometimes, it is not under your control.
Things somehow change.

Ahh! Exam this week.
Assignments this week.
School poster this week.
Going back malaysia in 4 days.
My MBMJ in 4 days.
Lovely bed and room in 4 days.
Food in 4 days.
Nightmares in 4 days.

Please treat me good. I don't want to get sick.
I will drink lots of water and be healthy when I got back.
I need to travel !

STRUGGLE

i can't believe that i'm having this super weird feelings.
this feeling i don't know how to say about.
some times, it's not that i don't want to say or act but is the thing on my mind i can't get off with.
and tired of telling the same thing over and over and over again.
still never listen.
i really don't want to care about it.
but what to do?
it's hard! can't just do what should you do?
don't be such tingle around like a kid.
grow up.

i really have to give up upon you some times.
but after an advice, i decided to do my own way.
that is give up and don't help you anymore.
helping you since day 1 is ruining your life like piece of shit.
you never listen.
and i really tired of telling you.
and tired of listening to your bullshit.
games is all you have.
then have fun with it.

second weird feelings is when i feel that i'm stingy.
ugh i don't know whether it's weird to feel something like this but somehow, my money is way more enough to be rich and eat and stay a healthy lifestyle.
but because of borrowing you, i have to eat instant noodles and eat something is way not my food.
and i really hate it.
really do.
and i don't know what to do.

ugh forget about it.
bye.